Harvest

[unique thicket]

@heady cave

@misty drift

Supposed to deal with 'absolution' being a bit of a falsehood, in that you'll always have regrets, pain and such, but I think maybe the metaphor went a little awry

[unique thicket]

@prime dune

[prime dune]

Im hemmming and hawing right now, lemme digest this a bit

[unique thicket]

Hemming and hawing

Haven't thought about that turn of phrase in a while

🤔

[prime dune]

literally me

[unique thicket]

Putting that in my pocket

Should I just scrap the whole thing and make it more legible

It feels like way too abstract

Very demanding

[prime dune]

I love the rhythm of
"whisked in brisk
tick-tock clocks"
and the structure of the actual poem, the free verse feeling gives it the direct acknowledgement of "bearing it"

but I will say the metaphor with the flowers connecting with the ending is tough

I do see the picture of their path in the hallowed woods, but the ending could stand to give some clarity

[unique thicket]

The buttercup I threw in literally because I wanted to say sup in finery there's not a whole lot of depth to it

The idea that everyone's wilting yet beautiful

But it's not grounded

Fair assessment

Oh it's abrupt!

[dry flint]

Wonderful! @unique thicket has just pregressed to level 16!

[unique thicket]

I could salvage it if I bridged to 'buttercup' a bit more

Thank you @prime dune

I dunno how I'll go about doing it but I'll think it over for a couple days

[prime dune]

I agree

[prime dune]

Ofc, tbh I've spent like a couple of months on some poems, just let them sit for a min and marinate

[unique thicket]

I usually try to write em in one go

Cuz fixing stuff is tedious

But there is a ton of value in that

That Ive mostly left untouched

[prime dune]

Honestly that's what I always do, but sometimes I lost inspiration mid poem and I find it's better to revisit with a new perspective rather than force an idea through

[unique thicket]

If I have to force I give up, that's generally the issue

[prime dune]

I see, and I raise you this. sometimes you gotta take a step back and maybe redirect the focus of the poem

[steady cave]

the “worm chewed wrath”