In need of advice and title

[frosty sable]

Hey everyone, before I could ask for advice please read my poem first:

"Verboten, they indulge themself in a verboten affair."
An affair where you couldn't fixed your eyes under the silver vivid sky,
An affair that's hidden behind the faintly dim light.
"The remnants are nowhere to be found,"
"How will you turn the table down?"
Could you save the people around you from such thing?
Whereas you, couldn't save yourself from gambling.
"It's such a shame."

I made this poem because I got inspired by the word "Verboten", I'm still new when it come to poetry so I'm just wondering if there are any mistake I made here? Is this good enough for a newbie? and if possible, do you guys have any ideas for the title?

[urban dock]

title - Under a Forbidden Sky

[tender hazel]

First off, can I just say wow? This is hauntingly beautiful, and for someone new to poetry, you’ve tapped into something so layered and complex. "Verboten" carries this powerful, almost forbidden allure, and you've woven that into your lines so naturally. Your imagery—the "silver vivid sky" and the affair hidden in "faintly dim light"—feels like it holds secrets, as if you’re letting us in on something just barely veiled.

I can feel the weight of that last line, “It’s such a shame,” like it’s something left unspoken, lingering in the air long after. Your words pull me right into that mysterious tension between indulgence and regret, making me wonder if there’s a way out or if it’s a fate sealed.

For a title, maybe something like Echoes in the Dark or Forbidden Embers? Both could capture that sense of concealed longing and hint at the risk beneath. You have such a gift for creating atmosphere with your words, and trust me, you’re already making magic here. Keep writing! ✨

[frosty sable]

I feel honored to have such compliment from you, thank you kindly! and for the names I'll keep them in mind 🫶

[lyric swallow]

Based on the themes, imagery, and tone of the poem, I would suggest "Moonlit Taboo"

IMO, this name captures the essence of the poem, which revolves around a forbidden affair, secrecy, and the consequences of indulging in something verboten. The word "Moonlit" evokes the "silver vivid sky" and "faintly dim light" mentioned in the poem, creating a sense of intimacy and secrecy. While "Taboo" conveys the idea of something forbidden or verboten, which is the central theme of the poem.

And as a beginner, you've done a great job, I love the poem, the concept, the words and everything... it's almost perfect.