#In Cornfields, Crop circles REDONE

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fallow maple
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In cornfields, crop circles.

woodcutters work; I visit the clearing.

I pocket their ears as I speak, a feast for my mind.

The end already came, aztec doomsday;

A haphazard performance to blow them all away.

In cornfields, crop circles

No one knows how crop circles are made

Every stalk in deep bow, as if giving praise

lost in the maize-maze, a minotaurs gaze

The best kept secrets, stay tucked away

In cornfields, crop circles

I’m a scarecrow overlooking a field of thoughts

Each delicate kernel protected by leaflets from the sun

And that ray of sunshine is my conscious mind

Waiting for the harvest to come undone

I reap what I sow, the soils turmoil alike my own

                   Yet I feel divided

                   as some patches

                    even in season 

                    Are yet to grow

Seasons point the way; natures cardinal directions

A moral compass encompassed in dissolution;

                         Saturated.

while running circles in my mind, I see what once was tall, fall

these thoughts die, I see peace of mind

the fruits of our labor must perish to yield

Through cold and hot and odd and hurtful

In cornfields, crop circles

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brave egret
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“In cornfields, crop circles” great hook and I like that you don’t forget it OR overuse it

“I pocket their ears as I speak, a feast for my mind.” - feel like there’s a missed opportunity somewhere in here for claiming the corn is listening to you somehow (‘ears’ of corn)

“The end already came, aztec doomsday;” - baller line, jealous I didn’t write it

“lost in the maize-maze, a minotaurs gaze” - maize/maze is LETHAL love it, but I think this line needs a little more workshopping. unhelpfully tho i’m not quite sure how

“these thoughts die, I see peace of mind” - love

fallow maple
old trench
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i agree with alec on the lost in the maize-maze, a minotaurs gaze — it could use a bit more workshopping. Another detail is that you had previously connected the poem to the Aztec civilization, but here you are switching mythologies. It’d maybe be more effective to find a way to stay in the area of ancient central america

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ESPECIALLY if you consider that these mesoamerican civilizations worshipped corn and maize as the plant of the gods

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just a thought :3
Quick detail that you may find cool: the Mayas even had a maize god and rituals centered on corn, as they believed that corn was the origin of humanity

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but maize-maze is flawless though, use those homophones to the fullest because they are chock full of cool opportunities

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Pervasive beautiful imagery in this piece, as always. My highlight is “Seasons point the way;/nature’s cardinal directions /A moral compass encompassed in dissolution;/Saturated.”. I just love how you make the seasons into this guide figure, not to mention how nicely you bring out the wordplay (compass-encompass). The “saturation” thrown in there is very satisfying, prob because i just love that word for little to no reason 🩷

fallow maple
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A

fallow maple
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@hoary drift