Pools of starlight in my bruise [by yats]
#Pools of starlight in my bruise [by yats] [excerpted]
heady spindle
heady spindle
Pools of starlight in my bruise [by yats] [excerpted]
topaz palm
Hi!
Love your poem it is very emotional and you know it really makes you want to re-read it again and you understand it more and more as you keep reading it. And I just think maybe “The morning fog is hyphae on wet bread.” Sound better maybe its just my opinion the original one is also very brilliantly written. Anyways great poem 👍🏻
heady spindle
Hi!
Love your poem it is very emotional and you know it really makes you want t...
thank you!
small nacelle
Beautiful imagery! It's clear that you have put a lot of thought into the words you have used. I was impressed by every verse but what really stuck with me is "pools of starlight in my brise". Beautiful and haunting way to start a poem, Def cught my attention. "Brajded knots" is honestky extremly clever. In my first read I thought of it as a allowing feeling- in my second I thought of how clever of a description that was to show unresponsiveness.
The last verses of the poem are very impactful- bringing the whole thing togeather. Beautiful phrased to
The only criticism I have is about the structure. I do appreciate it being free- it instills a sense of unfinished-ness and sorrow which I love. But I personally feel like it is overdone. It is slightly too fragmented imo
All in all- wonderful poem- you should be really proud. Def stayed with me
heady spindle
Beautiful imagery! It's clear that you have put a lot of thought into the words ...
the form has def been irking me too. the full poem looks even absurd in the form. im thinking of redoing it