draft haha

[jagged jasper]

Fast paced, full of grace
Barely realize the days going by
The fragments of memory, out of my grasp
As I come back, Oh the nostalgia it has

A glace of a photo, A second of a video
Evoked by the magic of nostalgia
Captured filled with vibrant beams
The euphoric sense of freedom as teens

The recognizable smile I used to know
That smile, genuine and at home
That smile, admist the forgotten memories with fraught
That smile, that holds a thousand thoughts

[wicked lava]

i like how you have repition and rhyme in some places

but as constructive feedback your poem is nice but it doesnt have a beat to it so its rly confusing to read in terms of beat

[compact helm]

This poem feels like a fast-paced moving-on kind of poem. Growing up, not realizing how fast time is going by, and how memories can reconnect your now to the person you were in the past.

I would also agree with aniretake, a meter in any sort or similarity in syllables per line helps improving the flow of the poem

[wicked lava]

also one more thing you have nostalgia repeating twice which does not really look like repitition more just like the usage of the same word twice so maybe you could replace the second nostalgia with something like stinging flashback

just an idea

[compact helm]

Stinging flashback implies a negative feeling doesnt it? I wouldnt connect nostalgia with a negative connotation immediately, although it could be referred as such.

[wicked lava]

true, but i just generally meant a synonym, could be a positive or a negative one

[zinc perch]

Your poem overall is really beautiful u did amazing on the repetition. But overall there r some holes, like u could use more flowing words and phrases. With a more emotional feeling, it connects more when people read it and they could see the vision in your writings.

[jagged jasper]

ohh i get it what yall are talking about, thats why it kinda feels off when i read it

[jagged jasper]

alright gotcha!!

[wicked lava]

but the ideas are the most important and then you think how to phrase them, the poem is rly beautiful 🌠

[jagged jasper]

how do i make a deeper or more of a emotional connection for the readers? do you have some tips??

[jagged jasper]

thank you so much!!! means alot

[zinc perch]

Yes I will share my way, I try to match emotionally what I am writing abt. In poetry u can feel what a person is writing, and visualize it. So if u can visualize it as your writing it’s a really good start. Me and u have really different writing styles but i hope this helps atleast a little.🙏🏾

[south frigate]

The words you utilised are really nice, especially the ones at the end of each line, they really compliment the rhythm. This is quite a nice poem. 🙂 The only thing I would say could be improved is the length of the lines. It's generally a good idea to try to make sure they're vaguely similar in length. I'm referring to the third line in the third stanza in particular. Other than that, amazing job, keep it up! ❤️