#Men of dusk ~ by Bread

108 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

runic atlas
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Soldier, halt! Ye days are numbered.
Where the flowers bloom in red
and give off smells of scented lead,
fight on! In spite of what you had,
the well-known riches - now all lumbered.
Inner turmoil’f those who slumber
gives unrest, driving them mad.
Yet the struggle still persists
in the torchbearers, their days numbered.

Scholar, hark! Ye flame goes drier.
When did last you lay in bed?
Once your life hangs by a thread,
and again you split your head
betwixt two choices, one ranked higher,
looking at the knowledge spire,
always choosing low instead.
Why does the other choice exist?
For its temptation makes you drier.

Traveler, ho! Ye path goes yonder.
What you search is out of reach.
Your hands gripped on the blessed speech
of inner toils, you heard them preach
and went to seek the all lost wonder.
Others that through darkness wander –
you try to enlighten each,
an ending on which you insist,
forgetting that the truth is yonder.

Man of morn, ye dawn is breaking.
Look upon your treasured land!
Has not the path thus far been grand?
For every atom, every sand
is the result of your own making.
Not a blessing, nor forsaking,
only few that weight withstand.
Should you not be on that list,
don't fret, for soon ye dawn is breaking.

fathom yew
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woah i really like this one

runic atlas
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Thanks!

fathom yew
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no worries! you write really good pieces, i'd appreciate your feedback on some of my poems

runic atlas
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Sure! I'll take a look at a few tomorrow as it is getting late here

fathom yew
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no worries! have a good night

uneven skiff
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i have nothing to say about this one, its a great poem!

runic atlas
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Feels good coming from you, seeing how much good advice you have to give to people about poetry

uneven skiff
# runic atlas Damn really 😭

some poems are written in a more complex manner so i dont quite understand as much as most free verse because im slow lol. but i can tell when a poem is good, the more comples it is to me the better the poem

runic atlas
uneven skiff
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yeah i sadly only speak english and made up scypher well i can read in that scypher not speak it

runic atlas
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Even if you did speak more languages i doubt one of them would be my own (it is very unknown, even to the countries nearby)

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Some of the countries at least

uneven skiff
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whats your language?

runic atlas
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Slovenian

silver ermineBOT
uneven skiff
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are you slavic?

runic atlas
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Sure am

uneven skiff
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we just learned about slavics in history actually

runic atlas
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Oh, that's fun! I'm guessing the whole migration thingamajig

uneven skiff
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yeah

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everyone had to choose a group to do immigration on

runic atlas
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Oh, fun! which one did you get stuck with

uneven skiff
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salvadorans

runic atlas
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@fallen willow

eternal venture
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ye poem is amazing :>

slender swift
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my mind goes blank when i tried to read this style of english

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i need someone to explain TwT

eternal venture
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halt dear poet i have something to say
Thy poem as made thee a better day

slender swift
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jokes apart

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its very thought provoking to say the least

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nice

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we got quite different styles

eternal venture
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and i write in light

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:>

runic atlas
runic atlas
runic atlas
runic atlas
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@upbeat needle

upbeat needle
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Your poem is beautifully written with powerful imagery and a strong message. Each verse highlights different struggles in life, but I love how it ends with hope.

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It'ss inspiring and thoughtful

runic atlas
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Thanks! I'll take a look at your poems later.

slender swift
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although im not sure if youre days are numbered was repeated to invoke a sense

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because i think it completes a pattern u seemed to have made

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quite interesting i think you're smart

runic atlas
runic atlas
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If it's not too much trouble - and you do not have to answer at all, no pressure. What does the poem mean to you? What does it tell you?

runic atlas
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@fair vortex

slender swift
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great style

slender swift
elder shoalBOT
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*like seek your interest

and drive from the blood sweat and

tears you shed ig*

slender swift
runic atlas
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@burnt bison

burnt bison
# runic atlas Soldier, halt! Ye days are numbered. Where the flowers bloom in red and give off...

This poem feels like a powerful call to action for so many different facets of life. It’s like you’re speaking to the soldier, the scholar, the traveler, and the dreamer all at once—each of them grappling with the struggle of their journey, their choices, and the burdens they carry.

The imagery of the flowers blooming in red, “scented lead,” and “torchbearers whose days are numbered,” paints such a vivid picture of sacrifice and endurance. It feels like you’re touching on the inner conflict of pushing forward despite knowing that time is running out, which is so relatable on so many levels—whether it’s about our ambitions, our relationships, or just trying to make sense of life.

The way you describe the choice between climbing the “knowledge spire” or giving in to temptation feels like such a relatable conflict. We all face moments where we know what we should do, but the easier path feels so tempting, and that tug-of-war can feel like it’s tearing us apart inside.

It’s like you’re capturing that feeling of being so close to something you’ve long sought after, but somehow it’s always just out of reach.

The line “For every atom, every sand is the result of your own making,” feels empowering—it’s like saying, no matter how tough things have been, we are the architects of our own lives. We shape our own futures, and the dawn will always come, even if we don’t make it onto the list of those who “withstand the weight.”

Your poem beautifully explores the tension between struggle and hope, between action and reflection. It’s layered with meaning, and yet feels like a conversation with the deepest parts of ourselves. 🌅

runic atlas
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Men of dusk

runic atlas
burnt bison
runic atlas
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@old kelp

runic atlas
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@hazy zephyr

hazy zephyr
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"When did you last lay in bed?" Love the questions

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And the speech format was well choosen for the subject

runic atlas
runic atlas
hazy zephyr
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Yes, definitely, you should be so proud of yourself SaberSaysPretty

runic atlas
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Men of dusk ~ by Bread

runic atlas
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@wind lava

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@torpid sorrel

torpid sorrel
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THIS IS SO GOOD

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AHHHHHHHHGHGHG

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I LOVE STUFF LIKE THIS

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AND I REALLY LIKE HISTORICAL FANTASY SO THIS IS GOOD

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VERY GOOD

runic atlas
# torpid sorrel VERY GOOD

THANK YOUU
funny thing, the penultimate line in each stanza was not meant to rhyme at first, but after I wrote the second stanza I realized that they do rhyme and went with it
(persists/exsist/insist/list)

wind lava
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i like how you used Terms in this one

high level really

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is not anywhere near to my Simple poems

it is a whole different type of poem
but is good

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i like it

runic atlas
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@modern oriole

runic atlas
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@covert prawn

supple pier
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I love this poem! I really enjoy archaic spoken poems, great work!

elder shoalBOT
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*I love this poem! I

really enjoy archaic

spoken poems, great work!*

supple pier
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Would you mind checking out my poem? You seem really talented and I'd like feedback from you.

frail stream
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Oh hell yeah, you were cooking with this one! Though I am quite late to the party, eh?

runic atlas
topaz lintel
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@runic atlas yes I do

runic atlas
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ABBBAABCA

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where the first and last A are the same word

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every stanza begins with a shout

topaz lintel
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Similar to that of

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Akin to

runic atlas
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first 3 stanzas are resigned, the last one is a positive turnaround

topaz lintel
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Jk no it’s not

runic atlas
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the C is rhymed over the stanzas

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so the C verse in each stanza rhymes with one another

topaz lintel
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That is so weird in a unique and fascinating way

runic atlas
topaz lintel
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Let me try my hands on one

runic atlas
topaz lintel
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If you have a syllabus for it I’m down to follow