Feedback on Poem (First poem since 2020)

[keen stag]

Any type of criticism or feedback is welcomed. really wanna get back in to writing poems, been going thru a lot these past 2 years, and i feel like its therapy for my soul

[ornate kindle]

Nice use of repetition to invoke a sense of questioning to the reader. It really makes it so that the readers will think harder and deeper, so they sympathise with you. You could add imagery to how you feel.

Maybe "How would you feel, if you saw me as a bright, red rose, beginning to wilt?"

[keen stag]

thanks for well rounded feedback. this poem was made on the spot because after i wrote it, me n a friend burned it with a few things from our past by the lake. will look into implementing more imagery in the next one

[vestal crest]

@keen stag Danny overall it's very good... I only suggest trying to use more vivid imagery... Instead of the line about closing your eyes and seeing her face maybe try some imagery like...

How would you feel if I told you, every time I close my eyes the blank canvas of my mind is quickly painted with the portrait of an unforgettable love

Didn't realize alv said the same already

My bad

[keen stag]

thanks for the response. the more feedback, the better. plus i’m fasure gonna add more imagery in the next one. it’ll be sorta my first time, so ima sit n think it through before just writing wtv i’m thinking