Poisoned Remedies | The Art of Poetry | Page 1

obsidian wyvern Sep 11, 2024, 11:29 PM

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Many Inspirations given by the one and only @rotund cedar

rotund cedar Sep 11, 2024, 11:34 PM

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Turned out incredible potatsaysyes

neat mulch Sep 12, 2024, 12:03 AM

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this is so good ❤️

lusty niche Sep 12, 2024, 1:20 AM

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I would suggest sticking with one type of theme/setting. You mentioned honey in the first stanza. Then you mention flesh. Then you reference a house. Then you make a reference to royalty. And finally you mention a valley and a shore.

I feel like some of these could be combined in a way. Like a dilapidated castle by a shore. Or maybe a hive since you mentioned honey. Maybe the hive became something of a dilapidated home but is now a prison.

obsidian wyvern Sep 12, 2024, 1:54 AM

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lusty niche I would suggest sticking with one type of theme/setting. You mentioned honey in ...

Thank you for your perspective, the locations of the poem are extended metaphors to building a home together, then destroying it for the house. Royalty is a metaphor for being put on a pedestal in a relationship, and the valley as a grave, and honeysuckle is a flower - meant to describe sugar coated words

obsidian wyvern Sep 12, 2024, 2:18 AM

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The theme of the poem is one consistent theme, the journey of someone realizing they're in a toxic relationship and being freed from it

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