My Final Kiss

[undone cypress]

@full cobalt

[undone cypress]

@north furnace What do you think?

[north furnace]

Do the three final kiss all need to be the same?

[undone cypress]

Yes

[north furnace]

It flows pretty well, it would be a good read with dramatic pauses, I would almost change and grasped to was grasped because then you get the s in both was, miss, and grasped to help it all sounds flowy but that's just my opinion

[undone cypress]

I actually like that suggestion. Does this have good iambic pentameter? I know you don't like it, but I want it to be there.

[north furnace]

I would say I can read it with a good proper iambic flow yes

[jovial barn]

I agree

I can’t tell if this is death or the end of a relationship

Very nice