I Am Medusa

[brittle reef]

I am open to brutally honest feedback. If you think the entire poem is garbage and should be scrapped I’d love to hear it!

[bold dragon]

beautiful through and through wow. “my story is yours, and we will tell it” hits so hard and really wraps the reader into the poem. Truly amazingly written!

[brittle reef]

Thank you! Is there anything at all that I could rework or improve upon?

[bold dragon]

Tbh it’s very solid as is. You keep the tone consistent throughout, effectively grab the readers attention from the very first line/metaphor, and then close the poem by showing how the metaphor of medusa is more of a reality than fiction. So, personally speaking I think it’s pretty damn solid!

[brittle reef]

@lunar prism @hybrid grove

[hybrid grove]

wow, this is solid, beautiful and easy to read, it flows dynamically and consistently, very well done. ⭐

[maiden turret]

i appreciate the ping but i do not know you, please do not ping me in your pieces

[brittle reef]

Sorry. I thought that was the purpose for the Poetry Helper tag. I’m new here.

[maiden turret]

its all good, but you have to ping the tag itself not the people that have it

[brittle reef]

Oh, OK.

[maiden turret]

and if youre gonna ping it ping it in #🖇・poetry-feedback-help

have a nice day, really nice poem btw

[brittle reef]

<@&1145760802666717234> <@&1144090752457113794>

[brittle reef]

@hybrid grove

[lunar prism]

Overall, this is a well thought out piece that takes a creature most people popularize today as a monster but who in reality was a victim and makes the comparison to the readers potential experiences. It speaks to people that have experienced or been witness too victim shaming.
I particularity like the theme of owning your story, and not allowing it become what others believe. Empowering survivors to tell their story from their perspective and control the narrative, which for so many is hard to do.
This point is driven home in what I think is the most powerful stanza

My story is yours
And we will tell it
The right way
Our way

Regarding considerations for revisions, I have noted two areas. First, I think the beginning of the poem would feel more personal if told from the first person. Instead of for instance

You Know who she is
You Know her story
At least
You think you do

To me reads more personal when adjusted to

You know who I am
You know my story
At least
You think you do

And then following this through the rest of the poem
The second consideration would be your final Stanza. The line “Chin up and High” blunts the impact of the line “is us” and reversing these lines may end with a stronger exclamation

[brittle reef]

Thank you! I really appreciate this feedback.

[lunar prism]

Would love to read the draft you submit for your deadline.