#Shattered Dreams

42 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

acoustic trellis
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I live to see my dreams fulfilled
They seem personal,but they aren't
Strength it tests, you must be willed
It requires something, you aren't

I remember my past
Where I dreamt my dreams of glory
Memories of joy are what I came for
But I step on shards, stings with misery.

Shards of none other, than my dreams
Those sweet dreams shattered and fell
Oh! It could have gone so well
I encounter my emotional whims

"What could go wrong" I asked before
I have been answered, I do not want
I only wondered but never sought it
The pain , I never experienced before

Whenever I want to dwell in nostalgia
These shards sting like wasp
I came to experience Euphoria
But learnt not everything is in our grasp

I walk on my shattered dreams
Fearing what I will fail next
If living is so valuable
Then I wish a miracle would be my dream

weary steppe
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Whenever I want to dwell in nostalgia
These shards sting like wasp
I came to experience Euphoria
But learnt not everything is in our grasp Wow well written poem

golden tree
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If one walks on glass, walk slowly, pick the pieces up, and make a wonderful mirror. Back it with silver, accent it with gold, and if you look at it on a pale moonlight, with water containing 3 tears of true joy, and 3 tears of despair, you can see the third thing.

frail nicheBOT
golden tree
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You cry beautifully @acoustic trellis

acoustic trellis
acoustic trellis
acoustic trellis
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@weary steppe

weary steppe
acoustic trellis
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No one seems my poem

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So I automatically tag people

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But I appreciate your support

weary steppe
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and tag more ppl

acoustic trellis
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Okay

acoustic trellis
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@sudden slate

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@simple mesa

hollow surge
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It's a great poem dearie (⁠◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕⁠✿⁠)
I loved the way it goes and how well you have written
It's better than the last one i read
Keep up the good work ☺️

acoustic trellis
acoustic trellis
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@warped arrow

warped arrow
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"What could go wrong" I asked before
I have been answered, I do not want
I can't understand, what do you not want?
Not that your poem isn't good, it's great, really but I just can't understand the meaning of this one line

acoustic trellis
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Was there any time where you expected something to happen surely
And you didn't think what can stop it..
And it was stopped somehow which you didn't expect.

warped arrow
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Ohh yeah that definitely happened before. Now I get it

acoustic trellis
acoustic trellis
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@oak lava

oak lava
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Hmmm passive voice? Interesting! Imageries of dreams 'shattering' seems to makes the atmosphere stressed and dangerous, emphasising the fear that is felt-something many readers would relate to especially those who have gone through similar circumstancesSaberSaysPretty

acoustic trellis
lean gust
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"dreamt my dreams" I think you should improve this. just keep "dreamt of glory"

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"It could have gone so well" I think this line might not fit too good with the other romanticised poetry. Maybe beautify this line a little bit?

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just an observation. won't be too bad without it

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"dwell in nostalgia" I think you should not refer to nostalgia explicitly. maybe do "when i wish to dwell in memories"

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a good poem, with a lot of emotional weight and relatability

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i think you should improve a bit on your technicalities

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@acoustic trellis great work. keep it up. ping me for more poems when you post them

acoustic trellis
simple mesa
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This is a well portrayal of unresolved feelings which keep surfacing and haunt one.

"What could go wrong"
Have been there,and i resonate with the feeling of knowing what would have went wrong and wishing afterwards that i never knew answer to that question

Overall this poem really made me feel the sadness and resonate

acoustic trellis
simple mesa
acoustic trellis
simple mesa