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60 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

gaunt sundial
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@cyan moth

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@stone shard

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@shut lake

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@quasi carbon

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@lusty shore

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@wraith knot

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@shadow forge

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@covert sapphire

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@loud glacier

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@spare mantle

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@grim carbon

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@plush vale

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@raw flame

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@cunning tiger

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@austere ibex

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@full crane

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@acoustic nest

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@worthy perch

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@next cobalt

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@celest cove

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@bright siren

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@coarse tendon

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@rich steeple

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@unique plume

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@radiant fern

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@bleak crown

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@cinder forge

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@trail yew

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@spare ridge

bright siren
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Beauty as always bro! Literally só poetic lol
Nice poem bard!

gaunt sundial
bright siren
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But i love your poems!

celest cove
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AAAAAAA dude this is so good pleaseee

shadow forge
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WAAAAAAA love the symbolism here! Very creative honestly to describe them as a poem that you've held close to your heart. I can feel the warmth radiating through this poem. Lovely!

gaunt sundial
fierce valve
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Your poem expresses genuine admiration and I really like and appreciate the effort you put into it✨. I love the concept of him being your "favorite line" and the whole sky. However, I think some of the comparisons feel a little overused. It would be great if you could explore more unique ways to express your feelings and refine your metaphors. Also, sprinkle in some more diverse and impactful vocabulary. With a few tweaks, I believe your poem could become something truly unforgettable!🦋

raw flame
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Eyy I like this a lot! Its really good

plush vale
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I like this one! It expresses genuine admiration towards someone, and it sounds so beautiful. I love it! ❤️ (Very sorry I haven't been able to keep up with your poems. Your writing is amazing!)

grim carbon
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This is absolutely beautiful, I love it

gaunt sundial
gaunt sundial
autumn axle
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I love it first of all. Comparing a person to poetry is usually boring because it's done so often, but you made it feel fresh and genuine. I didn't feel like it was an empty comparison. It felt real and that's what makes this poem so beautiful. One thing my professors always tell me (which I never listen to myself lol) is to keep a consistent extended metaphor throughout a piece to tie it together rather than using multiple unrelated images. If you bring another image into the work, you should connect it somehow to the previous image. That might make your piece even stronger.
I saw that another commenter said your metaphors were overused. I both agree and disagree. Comparisons of lovers to poetry, flower gardens, and starry skies are everywhere in poetry, which I'm sure you know. If you ask ChatGPT to write a love poem, it'll probably talk make comparisons to flowers and stars lol. What makes this poem good is the fact that you used them in a slightly different way that kept them feeling fresh and emotional and not cliche. That's super impressive. Thank you for sharing!

gaunt sundial
autumn axle
silk tundraBOT
gaunt sundial
autumn axle
rich steeple
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A sweet and mild poem. While not strong enough to be considered a theme, this poem also contains an aspect of irresolvability in the 'How' section. However, the narrator does resolve this question by embracing the paradox of someone who is a poem. I enjoyed it, the best part is certainly the 'how' section imo. Further improvements would come from the incorporation of a couple sound devices for embellishment.

fierce valve
# gaunt sundial Which comparisons feel overused ? 🤔

Phrases like “a verse that stays with you like a scent,” “every second with him is poetry itself,” and “he is my favorite line, my most cherished stanza” are familiar metaphors ,
just a bit of originality in the comparisons could elevate it further.

gaunt sundial
acoustic nest
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i ABSOLUTELY love this poem-
the way you say that this person is not just a line or a verse but the entire essence of your(ik you wrote it from a different perspective but i dunno what other pronoun i could use so yeah)favorite poetry speaks volumes about how much he means to you. its really a heartfelt and intimate piece that shows how intertwined your feelings are with his words and presence. the comparison of them to the entire sky and the cherished stanzas is soo cuteee!!!!

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nah honestly

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the entire poem is adorable

gaunt sundial
silk tundraBOT
gaunt sundial
acoustic nest
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i was js referring to the poem and the pronouns used there

gaunt sundial