candle

[wary flume]

@zinc radish @trail siren @trail siren @primal bronze @fluid juniper

@storm gale @grim parrot @wind forum

@rancid dawn @crisp saffron @mint trail @prisma condor@vivid mason

cool! tag me in it!

@bold perch

[bold perch]

i think the punctuations would make this more toned

[wary flume]

wdym exactly?

[bold perch]

for example
After time passes through bright and dark,
The wax wails itself to burn.
The candle surely loses its spark,
As the next one waits its turn.

[wary flume]

Ohh!!

more you mean?

I get it!! Thanks lots

[bold perch]

and yea lose the 'for' there it sounds better

i like the rhythmic flow and metaphors

great job!

[wary flume]

Alright thank you for the feedback!! (:

[wind forum]

i really like this but i can't help but notice you follow the same structure for every poem iirc 😭 it's nice don't get me wrong but have you thought about varying your structure a little?

[mint trail]

This a beautiful poem. You've captured the essence of a candle's life cycle so well. It's interesting how you've given the candle a voice, and the final lines create a sense of mystery and intrigue.

[wary flume]

Hey thanks! Yeah😭😭 Soo the thing is I feel most comfortable with a sonnet. I‘m my own audience I guess so I just write what I can best😭 But yeah I‘ve thought about it! I will be trying limerick and haiku‘s in the future ❤️

[wind forum]

that's fair! just sharing a thought that's all

[prisma condor]

I love the whole concept of referring yourself with a candle. Provides a comforting scent, decorates any part of the room, yet can easily be thrown away once it's useless.

The stanza in the middle always having this nice personal touch is such a lovely idea and so original which I admire a lot. Very well written

[wary flume]

Thank you so much for your constant helpful feedback!! 🥰🥰❤️

[prisma condor]

No worries! 👍

[primal bronze]

Haikus are really fun to write, and limericks - so far for me - are so pleasant to write :D

[wary flume]

You should tag me in some of your works then!! I‘d love to be inspired by you

O i just saw you did hahahaha

I‘ll review after driving lessons ❤️

[primal bronze]

:o
Alrighty then!

[trail siren]

As I read his sonnet, the image of a desolate poet came to mind: engulfed by the blackness of his solitude, without anyone with whom he could share his own art.

Only I can't help but allude to how much the image of the candle resonates with any possible symbolism, functioning to indicate virtues, honors, feelings, in such a compact way.

A reflection of your boldness, too. I'm noticing that there has been an immense progression on your part in moving forward, daring and not limiting yourself too much to just nature poetry.

[wary flume]

Wow, thank you so much for saying that!! You always read beyond the verses it‘s so cool❤️