#i-5

7 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

severe bison
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white lights around my dark face,
hard wooden chair beneath me,
hot summer night in July.

you watch-
with those blue eyes,
as the sun peeks through my window.
the sun has just gone down for you.

shadows pass along your frame-
as we fly down the I-5.

Your hand grabs my thigh-
And I

Remember the trips we went on, in only one night.

I sip from my soda-
and rest it in a holder-

Then smile at you,
the orange floodlights along the freeway-
tint my teeth.

One night, many years, in one night.

verbal wharf
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I realllly love the last part about the lights. The lights at night tinting our vision is such a lovely thing. Lovely poem and imagery

severe bison
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@vivid jasper

modern crater
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Like some lines are too long.

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you could split them up like
this, you know.

or just a simple
like this.

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otherwise good job. keep up the good work.