#The Last Letter - Jane

57 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

coral cape
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<@&1145760802666717234>

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@paper pulsar

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@willow sequoia

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@fervent dust

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@misty owl

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@inland linden

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@vapid mica

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@queen turret

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@pulsar oasis

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@unkempt valve

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@cedar wind

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@flat bone

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@inland linden

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@cold fable

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@grave bluff

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@vast surge

grave bluff
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Silence I enraptured
Amongst fearful cradles
Hath memoirs befitting death,
Like a broken fantasia, saddled. I think it should be saddle instead of saddled

coral cape
grave bluff
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the word choice is amazing tho

coral cape
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Thank you ♡

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@muted beacon

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@vapid mica

paper pulsar
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Oh, use of wisteria as a symbol is compelling & this time you tried mixing different stylistic elements, from the classical diction to modern imagery (liquor harvest ineptitude).

Clarity of this this stanza can be improved~

Silence I enraptured
Amongst fearful cradles
Hath memoirs befitting death,
Like a broken fantasia, saddled.

For example~

Enraptured by silence,
Among fearful cradles I dwell,
Memoirs steeped in death’s embrace,
Like a shattered dream’s cruel spell.

Hope this helps. 😊

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Wait

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Now it’s better

coral cape
paper pulsar
coral cape
paper pulsar
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lol

coral cape
paper pulsar
coral cape
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@raw quest

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@quasi tusk

raw quest
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Wow, your poem is really powerful. It feels like you're expressing deep sadness and longing.

The words "blemished my name, an ill-fated star" and "like a broken fantasia, saddled" show how you feel hurt and trapped.

Wisteria is my favorite flower. The wisteria seems to be a symbol of something beautiful and comforting, but it's also connected to sadness. You wish for peace and escape, but it feels out of reach.

coral cape
misty owl
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YAYYYY

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JANE POEM!

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NICE POEM MJ

coral cape
coral cape
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@gaunt wave

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@sharp palm

queen turret
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"The wildflowers thou enshrine
They grow’st round my grave
I hath a million words
Beneath they drown beyond escape." wow Jane- this is sorrowful but ethereal!! keep cooking 🔥🔥

distant heath
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You mean thy words:
Thou = you
Thee = you
Thy = your
Thine = your/yours

Also, it's:
I have
Thou hast
He hath

Shakespearian English is tricky, the grammar is different from modern English. You should study it, or risk sounding like a lolcat parody of King Lear 😅

Tho I love the idea of lolcat King Lear 😁😆

coral cape
distant heath
coral cape
distant heath
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But I'll if I can read them

coral cape
coral cape
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@serene imp

gaunt wave
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I love this as usual jane, your style and word choices are amazing

coral cape
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@inland linden

coral cape
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@unique grove

willow sequoia
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"The wildflowers thou enshrine
They grow’st round my grave
I hath a million words
Beneath they drown beyond escape."

This is gonna be depressing but it reminds me of this tiktok writer I follow. Cancer murdered her in July 2022. Before that, on one of her posts, she wrote “I’m haunted by the words I’ve yet to write, out of fear I never will.” That stanza reminded me of her 💜

coral cape
pulsar oasis
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love the general (hidden) topic of growth in this