Roots and Vines

[short quail]

I really like the feeling you create with this poem, being stuck in your love / relationship-like feeling and not wanting to let go.
The sudden change up the in verses in the first stanza kinda disturbs me a bit. The first 3 verses you write with similar length, breaking the structure in the following 5 verses. Is this intentional? Also ( this is just my personal preference ) I prefer rhymes starting and ending with sentences / stanzas.
By differantiating the sentence structure in the second stanza compared to the rhyme scheme kinda bothers me, but thats personal preference.
all in all great job!

[amber harbor]

Yeah, I was worried about the rhyme scheme being inconsistent. The first two stanzas are intentional, but the last one I kind of winged it at the end bc I had more to say but was out of lines I’d planned

I might need to rework that

Thanks for the feedback! Is there any poem you’d like me review for you in return?

[short quail]

sure! ill ping you there

[mellow robin]

I really really like this and think it works well without a consistent rhyme scheme. What immediately came to mind was the “voice” of a tree, living peacefully; “don’t unearth me.”

[amber harbor]

It’s meant to be a love poem. Unrequited and silent, but you stay friends with them because leaving is just too hard

[amber harbor]

Thanks for the feedback! If you have a poem you’d like me to read in return, ping me there and I’d be happy to review it for you

[mellow robin]

Ahh I can see that as well! With that context the last lines are particularly impactful and beautiful

Will do! 💗

[amber harbor]

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That dot was just for activity reasons so I could link this in a different poem it’s connected to

It was inactive for almost a month so I was having trouble linking it

[autumn apex]

For me it seemed like a nymph pining after a god

Beautiful, unattainable, and yet, and yet