The movies

[visual oyster]

@cinder quarry
@main grotto
@vast peak

@lofty trail
@chilly bison
@pure charm

I used pancakes a lot cuz im kinda obsessed with them

[strong drift]

🙂 I really like the pancake imagery and how it "rises your soul" up like the pancake itself is bittersweet.

"You and i running towards our ceremony," However, I feel like this could be reworded, ceremony doesn't seem like the right phrase.

Also - the bolding of every few lines takes away from the 'hit' of the line since the reader knows the line is supposed to be important, instead of letting readers self digest each line's purpose. But that's just my thoughts.

Here are a few lines I loved though:

"Dreaming of it..feels like the colors of spring before they lose it all."

"Who will turn off the TV after i sleep?"

"Making pancakes, forgetting how much it aches."

[visual oyster]

Thank you so much for your feedback, but can u tell me more abt ur point

[strong drift]

I just don't see the movies as a ceremony - the rest of the poem uses more down to earth imagery like pancakes, bed, streets, TV, movies - things that remind people of simplicities of life, but you take it and describe it so well and give it deeper meaning. That's why to me, the word ceremony seems out of place

[visual oyster]

Ooh i see i see got it ! Thank you so much

[pure charm]

Is it just me overthinking or are the lines in bold are from Taylor Swift's loml? 🤔

The poem is beautiful ♡👌

[main grotto]

Oh that’s something different, this piece touches on themes of escapism, longing for idealised love & experiences akin to those in movies, detailing the contrast between fantasy & reality. The free flow structure of your poem mirrors the wandering thoughts & dream like quality of the narrative, good job. 👍

[visual oyster]

I was indeed listening to her while writing my poems, i said it in one of my poems! I hope that doesn’t count as uh, stealing?