Sonnet 1: To My Greatest Companion

[oblique charm]

I can understand possible cringe for this poem but I made it specifically targeting inside jokes about a good friend of mine. My biggest issue for this poem is that it doesn't follow the iambic pentameter correctly because I found out after I wrote it that it needs to follow a strict patter or stressed and unstressed syllables

[shrewd magnet]

No, it's quite chill and straightforward, which is refreshing. And whether metre is relevant or not is up to you. Maybe you meant to follow metre but putting that aside, I feel like the flow is good.

[oblique charm]

I wanted to follow the iambic pentameter and so I did almost. Every line has 10 syllables but it just doesn't follow the 5 stressed and unstressed syllables

[shrewd magnet]

Yeah, I can feel that. I sometimes nag myself a lot about imperfect spots in my poems

[oblique charm]

Yeah I hate stressed and unstressed syllables.

Thank you though for the feedback

[south pike]

Ok so here is my analysis!!
The flow is a bit disrupted in some places (not something major to be worried about tho) (as I read that you tried iambic pentameter, the flow does really sound a bit forced at some places);
The wordplay is nice and pleasant, although don't be afraid to use more "fancy" words, they can enrich your poem with new and/or more distinct feeling (just a personal opinion tho, you don't have to do it)
Overall I understand some places are inside jokes, so I can't really comment on the impact, but they do fit in nicely in the poem.
I'm sure your friend will find this work of yours heartwarming. Keep up the good work, man! And if you may, please tag me in your upcoming posts. I'd want to see more of your work. :)

[oblique charm]

All right I appreciate your feedback.

My issue is that for vocabulary, I'm weak. Not only that, but with the iambic pentameter, it's hard to fit some words in or try to be more "fancy" as you call it. Nevertheless, thank you for your comment. I will tag you in on the next poem that I write

[south pike]

Don't sweat about it too much, iambic pentameter is hard. Would I be right to guess that you're still somewhat new to writing poetry? If so, then I don't think iambic pentameter is something to be worried about too much. Just focus on writing more, practice makes perfect. You'll improve over time :) (Not that your work isn't good already, though)
And no problem, ty (⁠⁠´⁠ω⁠｀⁠⁠)

[warm nest]

Wonderful! @south pike has just pregressed to level 4!

[oblique charm]

Don't look at "O Moon Great Moon" in that case 😂😂 but yeah this is my first year writing poetry and I don't usually write one directly after the other one. Whenever I have some feeling that I'd like to express through a poem instead of Journaling