Poison Tree (𖣂)

[fossil tundra]

<@&1145760802666717234>

[tiny walrus]

Omg this is awesome
That ending really packs a punch this is really cool
As soon as I saw the title I thought of the song Poison Tree by Grouper

[fossil tundra]

This poem is also inspired by that too since jahseh is trending on TikTok because of the tattoo

But thank youu🌸

[fossil tundra]

@fossil tundra

[fossil tundra]

@supple pond

[fossil tundra]

@tidal plank new poem from today ^^

[sharp hound]

**drank , i see major improvement in ur writing. this work is a lot better and matured. overall a 7/10
love love love the line: A fear and a foe... have a harder blow

keep growing

[fossil tundra]

I swear I typed drank my grammar thing must be broken

[sharp hound]

happens,well done tho

[fossil tundra]

And thank you I genuinely love this poem and it means so much to me because of who started the trend with this poison tree

[jolly lava]

The piece effectively uses imagery of a poison tree
& the consequences it brings, which creates a dark, foreboding atmosphere. The theme of consequences & choices is clear throughout the poem. The poem flows reasonably well, maintaining a consistent rhythm in most parts.
However, there are some lines that feel a bit forced, kinda interrupting the flow.
For example-
A fear and a foe, a knife, and a bow - which one do you think is going to have a harder blow ?
feels a bit clunky compared to the rest of the poem. The language used is vivid & dramatic, which suits the dark theme of the poem. There are some effective phrases like
drunk my tears
dead man walking
that evoke strong images. Overall your poem could benefit from more nuanced exploration or layers of meaning to add depth & intrigue.
Hope this helps. 😊

[fossil tundra]

Ahh it naturally came to me so it's actually funny that you say that

[jolly lava]

🤣 well all i read was a poem..I haven’t had the opportunity to interview poetess lol