I’m forever destined,
To be alone.
My only friends,
Are stones.
I cry each night,
For I am alone.
No one to hug,
No one to hold.
This is my life,
That no one knows.
It hurts my soul,
That I am alone.
#Forever alone
pale hull
wind leafBOT
I’m forever destined,
To be alone.
My only friends,
Are stones.
I cry each nigh...
Wonderful! @pale hull has just pregressed to level 1!
pale hull
@crisp glacier
crisp glacier
This is pretty good! The one criticism i can think of rn is that the line "are stones." Feels like it lacks flow like its too short so maybe add a deacriptive word in front of stone?
pale hull
hmm what do you suggest? to give me sort of an idea
what if i did “are stones, they know my story and wont leave my side.” withh something else added which i havent thought of yet
that line i just put is just from the top of my head
or
”my only friends, are lonely stones”
hmmm
so many ideas youve opened me up to thank you
ill work hard on that line and once i fix it ill shoot it back to you
timber jackalBOT
pale hull
I’m forever destined,
To be alone.
My only friends,
Are lonely stones.
They know my pain,
They know I cry,
And here they’re still by my side.
I cry each night,
For I am alone.
No one to hug,
Only lonely stones.
This is my life,
That no one knows.
It hurts my soul,
That I am alone.
@crisp glacier how does this look? I changed some lines added a few more in and completely changed some stuff
crisp glacier
I like that u add3d lonely but the stuff after starts to emphasize that these people are with you instead of you being alone, which is what ur poem is about
So maybe if ur trying to convey that these people are pysically with you but not emotionally there for u, u can do something to make that clearer?
Im not sure what ur intention is but keep editing and show me what u come up withh
pale hull
Im not sure what ur intention is but keep editing and show me what u come up wit...
will do
I’m forever destined,
To be alone.
My only friends,
Are lonely stones.
Even then they aren’t real,
Just some stones,
I painted on.
I cry each night,
For I am alone.
No one to hug,
Only lonely stones,
which are not real.
i wish they could speak,
so i could talk.
but its only me,
and my lonely thoughts.
This is my life,
That no one knows.
It hurts my soul,
That I am alone.
how does this sound?
im trying to make it about being alone im trying to also make the stones feel fake and not actually a thing if that makes sense
crisp glacier
I think this is a big improvement good job!