#Remnant of Waves…

31 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

vale rain
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<@&1145760802666717234>

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@tidal moss

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@cinder orbit

vale rain
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@storm hare

storm hare
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Now that's a pretty intriguing motif, a sundried boat, caught in the middle of some desolate plain or field

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But I'd like to see more about it

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I know in the last few lines, you compare a way to relate to the boat in question

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But I think, perhaps, there might be an added layer of depth we could enjoy if the entire poem itself was a commentary on something

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If the entire poem was posed as some sort of metaphor or symbol for some aspect of life, or perhaps some relatable experience

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Because otherwise, it's just a poem about a stuck boat

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And as pretty as the poem may be, there lies some untapped potential in that image there

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Ja feel me?

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Son?

vale rain
# storm hare If the entire poem was posed as some sort of metaphor or symbol for some aspect ...

Yup, This piece is written on the theme of hope amid transformation & loss. As seen in the picture the landscape has changed dramatically, from a thriving oceanic environment to a barrenish 😅desert. Despite this stark change what I’m trying to convey is , that the hope still persists. The subject (land/ boat) now devoid of water & life, still holds memories of its past richness. It’s waiting patiently, (embodying) stillness enduring the natural passage of time.

tidal moss
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Damn

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Nice one

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Not much feedback as always

vale rain
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@rose kiln

@old oyster

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@forest hemlock

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@light prism

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@calm moss

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@misty nebula

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@warped valve

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@brisk moth

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@void vigil

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@native flare

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@near hornet

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@gilded viper

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@hollow kayak

light prism
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Love the picture you've painted through this poem.

warped valve
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This is a beautiful poem💗 It paints a vivid picture of a once-thriving lake and the changes it has gone through. I can imagine the lake as a character with its own story to tell.