#Oh Indy,
marsh island
solid totem
Oh dear, this poem is flushed with beautiful imagery. I loved the flow of emotions, and the rhythmic beat and the metrical flow made me fall in love with the poem. The theme, is really outstanding. You've done a phenomenal job with this poem. As it makes a part of me, to despise, to reflect anger... The phrases are drenched in talent. I've got no words. But the poem is absolutely stunning!
edgy forge
marsh island
@ebon monolith oneee more, this is my slam poetry piece
ebon monolith
marsh island
@chrome prairie
oak loom
Attempts at vivid imagery often feel forced like;
dip your heels in crimson ink
waxen wings melt
This piece lacks a clear structure/progression it’s just jumping between insults without any cohesive thematic development.
Excessive repetition of phrases
Oh Indy & pathetic prose kinda makes it monotonous. It’s unclear whether the main criticism of Indy is beyond asserting superiority, seems like focusing more on personal attacks than constructive criticism lol.
marsh island
Attempts at vivid imagery often feel forced like;
*dip your heels in crimson in...
This piece is a response to another separate piece that it ties together with, it is meant to be repetitive as it's a quickly spoken slam poetry piece, it is meant to be personal attacks over constructive criticism
somber hound
This piece is a response to another separate piece that it ties together with, i...
This will sound incredible as slam
marsh island
This will sound incredible as slam
It does, I've narrated it twice now!
marsh island
@ancient mountain Diss poem, this was a response to a poem about me from a friend so some of the lines relate to it