candid jacinth
*Lukewarm, leafy garden,
Dangerous vessel;
Smoldering blood cells.A phantom in the mirror,
Ecstatic noise exudes
From the orange orchidsIvory bodies take hold on
These rainy houses,
Sunken tubular flowers in bloodRivers, you appear unnoticed,
The river foams ivory, I cherish
This earth, the phantom whispers,Stitches of my birth, cold nights
And drunken birds.
These orange orchids remain unborn.Farewell, farewell: a phantom house.
Even in your lukewarm garden
We shan't meet.*
The central idea of the poem appears to be the fleeting nature of life and the inevitability of death. The subject matter revolves around the imagery of a garden, vessels, blood cells, mirrors, orchids, bodies, houses, rivers, and birds to convey a sense of transience and impermanence. The poem seems to explore themes of mortality, memory, and the passage of time. The speaker reflects on the impermanence of life and the inevitability of death, using the imagery of a garden and other elements to convey a sense of introspection and contemplation
@willow fossil
@spark terrace
@gilded haven
candid jacinth
It's 3 am.
huh u still up ?
@sweet pewter
@random drift
@flint garden
@gilded bane
@modest latch
@junior sand
@scarlet prairie
@stark cedar
@scenic jewel
@chrome cypress
@unreal garnet
@proud vortex
@brisk steeple
@clear delta
scarlet prairie
It's a bit dark and eerie, but it is really good. I like it 🙂
candid jacinth
@proud vortex
gilded bane
Although you aimed for a different theme, this makes me feel like I'm exploring an abandoned house during a huge rain, talking to a ghost and then leaving intact 1 day (year) later 🥴 . Not bad at all
candid jacinth
Although you aimed for a different theme, this makes me feel like I'm exploring ...
thank you, im glad you enjoyed it
sweet pewter
The central idea of the poem appears to be the fleeting nature of life and the i...
Why are you saying it appears to be? 😭
sweet pewter
Analysis
Para 1- The Lukewarm could suggest balance but I may be wrong there, it is the rule of thirds going on still. Leafy garden, a growth of some sort. As if it is hidden. Dangerous vessel is ofc the phantom, but the use of the word vessel is rather good, as to say this "ghost" is a medium of something to take pleasure in inducing fear in people, hence smoldering blood cells. Also smoldering is a good word there, cause that is pretty much ghastly to burn without fire.
Para 2- A phantom in the mirror is a confusing line tbh. It suggests that either the phantom is behind you, or inside the mirror, trapped. Ecstatic noise exudes is what it sounds like. But for the orange orchids.... Hmm.... I am not sure. Because what I know is orchids represent sexual desires. But to guess I think it is something else here.
Para 3:-
Ivory bodies= skeletons. Skeletons stay in these houses. And I don't know what sunken tubular flower is meant to say. It could be lotus. But I am uncertain.
Para 4 is uhm... Still more confusing. The river froms ivory, what river? From the rain? But that would mean it is raining blood, since it is blood rivers continued. If so, it is more fitting the puddles are the rivers (don't make sense tho). But that way, the foam thing works since ivory could mean two things here, danger as the skeletons like last time, OR treasure since ivory is a precious thing is many parts of world. The treasure makes more sense when the next line "i cherish this earth" comes. Now grammatically speak phantom should speak the later from "the phantom whispers" but idk, so i am considering the phantom said both of it.
Para 5:-
Stitches ofy birth, hm... Idk, Earthly connections? And unfulfillment.
Para 6:-
Living >>>> Coziness
sweet pewter
no that came from ai
I guessed it came from ai 😭🤣😱💀
candid jacinth
Analysis
Para 1- The Lukewarm could suggest balance but I may be wrong there, i...
wow that was a good breakdown of the poem, you did a great job and yes orchids do mean something else here, orange is like spirituality here, so the orchids are receiving stimuli from this phantom if that makes sense
sweet pewter
Ohh.....
candid jacinth
and its making them react in a tumultous way
sweet pewter
I see
candid jacinth
I see
So in that 5th stanza im talking about my birthmarks and the flowers remaining unborn symbolizes absence of life its like a juxtapose to the living (drunken) birds and my birthmarks - things that are actually present on earth
if that makes sense
scenic jewel
second last stanza 🙌