#I Claim

19 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

potent harbor
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A lost cause. Gone .
Is what I am.
Or so I used to claim.

A boy with no success. Withdrawn .
Is what I am.
Or so I used to claim.

A man with no empathy. Fall .
Is what I am.
Or so I used to claim.

  But time has moved, 
      And I have improved.

A found soul. Present .
Is what I am.
In which I claim.

A boy with potential. Significant .
Is what I am.
In which I claim.

A man with empathy. Recalled .
Is what I am.
In which I claim.

median violetBOT
potent harbor
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@left shoal
@plucky quartz
@steel island
@unreal agate

left shoal
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I like how you structured it, with the literal position of all of the words.

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Definitely adds a certain touch to the poem.

potent harbor
steel island
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This is really good

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I’m curious as to what is the significance of the spacing tho? Like what does it mean?

potent harbor
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If that makes sense

unreal agate
unreal agate
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The pphrase a boy with no success" at the beginning kinda creates a sense of despair and limitation, but the final stanzas reveal progress and newfound confidence!

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and also the way u use of powerful and positive terms like "found soul" and "potential" really conveys hope and determination. Well written!!!!!!!!!!!!

potent harbor
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!!!! Thank you so muchhhhhhhhh