Happy(less) "YNGMC"

[robust karma]

This is probably one of the better poems I've read in the past week

[final obsidian]

*This is probably

one of the better poems I've

read in the past week*

- kosmosia

[robust karma]

Really brings out that dread of unknowing where to go and what to say

[final obsidian]

*Really brings out that

dread of unknowing where to

go and what to say*

- kosmosia

[outer barn]

this poem is just heartbreaking in its honesty and vulnerability

The repetition of "would I be happier if I had never met u" really drives home the sense of loss and the narrator's attempt to make sense of a painful breakup. The idea that they put so much of themselves into the relationship, and now feeling like they're "written out", is just so so relatable

The idea of writing sonnets before the breakup but never getting the chance to share them is a really poetic touch

i think this is a really powerful and raw piece

[lyric anvil]

Thanks anything i can improve?

[thick gazelle]

Beautiful ❤️

[outer barn]

hmmm while the poem is already quite well written,maybe u can try to consider fleshing out some of the ideas and emotions a bit more? For exp, instead of just saying u "weren’t ready for love," u could explore why u felt that way, or what it felt like to fall in love despite feeling ill prepared(?

oh and also another small suggestion would be to pay more attention to the rhythm and flow of the poem. Some of the lines feel a bit choppy and would benefit from being smoothed out a bit