#A Hapless Dream

49 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

slow sparrow
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A Prose Poetry expressing the metaphor of being an unwanted dream.

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@zinc cedar

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@keen laurel

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@mossy gale

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@weak lark

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@fallen kestrel

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@dusk skiff

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@onyx elk

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@slow sparrow

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@slow sparrow

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@azure finch

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@inland mist

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@remote summit

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@slow sparrow

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@fresh olive

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@slow sparrow

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@slow sparrow

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@slow sparrow

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@iron ravine

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@slow sparrow

slow sparrow
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@tired lotus
@snow epoch

remote summit
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good job overral with the poem, only thing I will say is that work on the format more

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and try out new formats

zinc cedar
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this poem is hauntingly beautiful and deeply evocative. the metaphor of being an unwanted dream, cast into the volcanoes of sleep, is really powerful. the imagery of nights that "never understood any silence or whisper" and the sense of being a loathing dream that remained unachieved is striking. its a profound reflection on existence, rejection, and the silent, often unnoticed, impact we have. your words capture a unique and melancholic perspective that is both raw and relatable. excellent work really

slow sparrow
slow sparrow
remote summit
slow sparrow
remote summit
slow sparrow
weak lark
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This is very emotionally resonant... The last three sentences especially really make for a great ending. Great job, Puff!! <33

slow sparrow
fresh olive
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this is so so good, i love it so much. this is very reminiscent of a certain kind of Arabic literature called “nathr” and it makes me appreciate this piece even more.

slow sparrow
fresh olive
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here’s a translated definition from google: Prose is beautiful artistic speech, published in a good style, not governed by rhythmic systems - as is the case with poetry - distinguished by chosen language, a clear idea, and sound, convincing logic, influencing the recipient. Among the arts of prose: the story, the article, the sermon, the prose play, and the arts of descriptive prose such as literary criticism, literary history, and comparative literature.

so fundamentally, “nathr” is just prose in arabic. but culturally it was such a significant thing. 1400 years ago, in the arab world, music wasnt part of their culture, but poetry and prose were THE artistic form. it was so significant that people would rise in ranks simply because of their poetry. poetry and prose were like yin and yang, in that poetry in arabic is very strict with meter, rhyme and structure. unlike prose which was literally anything written artistically, but it was most common to write letters and to prepare speeches to warriors before war. arabic literature is such a deep and rich world that even i, a fully capable arabic speaker cant quite grasp even the most surface level parts of it lol

slow sparrow
slow sparrow
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@dusk skiff

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@slow sparrow

dusk skiff
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I love it, it can be cycled too.

slow sparrow
slow sparrow
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@slow sparrow

pale fog
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"I died soon crushing" Idk if you wrote this relating to your life or not but every word and letter in this is my life and this is soooooooo dammmnnnnn good:) the way you've put your thoughts into words and to let know people of what you've gone through or not!

cloud rootBOT
slow sparrow
slow sparrow
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Oooo I love this!

slow sparrow
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@maiden cipher

slow sparrow
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@fair vapor