meager shale
The silence is deafening.
Yet still, the voices in my head yell and fight for solace,
Solace they can’t ever find,
Not with my help, at least,
Since it's all in my mind.
It gets hard in this empty little room,
Where the air is thin and every corner, cold.
A personal jail cell: a box,
Filled with all my sorrows and gloom.
How can I feel so lonely?
When I have my past to haunt me,
And keep me company,
To fill me with grim thoughts,
When I feel empty.
I choke at the hands of this feeling.
Sometimes, it’s my reality, escaping the confines of my mind,
Pinning me down, forcing my wary ears to listen,
Forcing the tears to flow,
To leave my resolve behind.
When it finally drains me,
Of my blood, sweat, and tears,
It hides behind a debonair facade,
Waiting, feeding off my lingering fears.
And when that’s not enough,
It creeps up on me,
And cuts down my will to live,
With its sharp-edged knife.
A void. That’s what it is.
This dulling feeling that makes me dread,
Sewing my mouth shut and restraining my hands,
Stabbing my eyes, stripping me of my clothes: my dignity,
All to convince me that it’s just in my head.
Surrounded by people that love me,
But I still feel alone.
If there is love, then why hasn’t it filled this pit?
Is there nowhere that’s filled?
Nowhere that's whole?
I’m slipping.
Slipping back under the rocks that weigh a ton,
These thoughts, heavy on my heart.
Could this be it?
Am I done?
Please let me go!
I beg of you!
I’d give my life,
Just cut through my loneliness.
Use your sharp-edged knife.
ocean hound