#Bloodhound -Rider

51 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

strange tiger
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i genuinely dont know if its good or bad

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@pastel kelp @plucky bison @open ferry @quasi geyser

rugged island
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I liked the theme of the stanzas cascading into each other, it evokes a pit-in-the-stomach falling feeling which works very well. “Preying with an empty, / dead poker face” visceral, that’s my standout fav line. A couple of notes, “Replacing rainclouds / with a soft haze” and then noting that rain clouds remain was thematically confusing for me. I was also surprised you didn’t use Wayward in your penultimate stanza, (even though you alluded to it) i think that would’ve helped bring the poem full circle.

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keep up the good work!

quasi geyser
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@woven cypress here

woven cypress
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RIDER WRITING THING AGAIN THATS MY LOVE!

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I LOVE RIDER POEMS

open ferry
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I already gave a review....

open ferry
quasi geyser
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A change in your writing style I see. Good workkk again 👍

pastel kelp
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Rainclouds...
rainclouds remain.
Black and white rainbows
through tinted panes. Ok now this stanza is good

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I am starting to notice a pattern with your new poetry, it has lots of repetition which I like

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Dread...
dread overtakes.
Preying with an empty,
dead poker face I also like the little rhyme scheme going on here

strange tiger
strange tiger
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@royal star @cosmic blade @slow gate

strange tiger
strange tiger
potent yarrowBOT
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*and no need for such

flattery but thanks rico,

i like your poems too*

- robocop101_
strange tiger
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let tomorrow come
you naive little machine
you'll miss the sunlight

potent yarrowBOT
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*let tomorrow come

you naive little machine

you'll miss the sunlight*

- robocop101_
strange tiger
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emotions, worthless
for an inanimate bot
i'll still show you pain

potent yarrowBOT
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*emotions, worthless

for an inanimate bot

i'll still show you pain*

- robocop101_
dry garnet
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woah....sugoi...kinda like this style..i always loved repetition in poetry...nice to see you incorporate it dude

strange tiger
open ferry
open ferry
woven cypress
dry garnet
open ferry
strange tiger
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@royal star i finished it up

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haiku found its match
you should never have come here
and i'll show you why

potent yarrowBOT
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*haiku found its match

you should never have come here

and i'll show you why*

- robocop101_
royal star
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gimme soe time

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oh btw you can change ur username to rider

strange tiger
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@loud latch

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@obtuse pine @vital silo

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@tawdry heart@cosmic blade

tawdry heart
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I do admire your usage of the first line on each stanza.
For it being as short as it is? It is utilised and expanded quite well.

Favourites being the Falling and Preying stanzas.
I'm usually not a giver of criticisms, but what I can say is that...
These stanzas are a bit too short for my personal palette.

But that's just nit-picking on my end, this poem is nice as it is.
The waywards stanzas are used very well.
Both versions are great, but I do prefer the ending waywards.

You definitely deserve the great praises.
From always looking at your poems back in my lower levels?
Nothing has changed in my eyes, man.

Just keep writing whenever you can!

strange tiger
loud latch
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All of these you've written are beautiful, I love them

strange tiger
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@upbeat stag

strange tiger
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@slim burrow

slim burrow
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cathuh sure but tomm or in 10 hr, i am tired

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it will be a sin to read poetry now

strange tiger
slim burrow
woven cypress
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OOOOOOW NICE POEM, RIDER! YOU KNOW I AM SO BAD WITH REVIEWS LOL

potent yarrowBOT
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*OOOOOOW NICE POEM, RIDER!

YOU KNOW I AM SO BAD WITH

REVIEWS LOL*

- The Perfect Rico (swan) 💙