Aviator -Rider

[worn tangle]

@boreal umbra @celest pawn @scarlet ravine

[celest pawn]

you're the real rider ?

lol

[worn tangle]

no

[celest pawn]

you are lying

[worn tangle]

read

[celest pawn]

You are lying

[worn tangle]

thanks for letting me know

@celest pawn ...

[celest pawn]

I KNOWWWWW

[worn tangle]

READ

[celest pawn]

I WILLLLLLLLLLLLL

[worn tangle]

NOW

[celest pawn]

OMGGGGGG

ok I can see you kept the word choice quiet simple in this one, Open gray your sight to beholdI feel like you can word this better

[worn tangle]

whys that

[celest pawn]

it just don't sound right

to me it dont

[worn tangle]

dont be so vague

[celest pawn]

Like gray in that sentence sounds out of place i dont know

or you could've worded it better

[worn tangle]

i tweaked with that sentence a lot and open gray is the one with the best rhythm

and it makes sense in my eyes because the entire poem was inspired by a glance at a gray sky

gray skies are also a symbol for hollowness

[celest pawn]

well ok, I see

[worn tangle]

any other thoughts?

[worn tangle]

I will look into your feedback, by the way.

[celest pawn]

the repetition is good, the format is ok

[celest pawn]

thank you

same with the format its ok

[boreal umbra]

Nice poem """""false""""'X rider

[worn tangle]

thank you """""true""""'X rico