Cognizance

[olive shore]

How privileged life can be, to be oblivious to the suffering of many
To not know struggles of the future, of which you must face plenty,
Blissful ignorance to the burdens of yours, now which has to bear by own
Responsibilities passed on from above, to now the narrow shoulders alone.

Time to pay your debt to this world, your interest already defined
Failures of yours and those strive, perhaps it's now best to leave ambitions behind,
Now dive into a world of uncertainty, the depths of which no one knows
Wear the clothes of maturity, it's your turn to act composed.

[ancient lagoon]

I like it. From what I understand it’s about maturing and growing up and realising there is responsibility to act upon. That we are all destined to live similarly structured lives. The rhyming was quite simple and serene, so I would recommend exploring different rhyming structures to challenge yourself. To also be more metaphorical perhaps? Poetry to me is about describing rather than telling, which is quite difficult.

[olive shore]

Yes, will explore more rhyming schemes. Completely agree on the metaphorical ways to describe, will try in the next one. Thanks.

[opal horizon]

Wonderful! @olive shore has just pregressed to level 2!

[olive shore]

@trail sparrow

[trail sparrow]

The line - Perhaps it's now best to leave ambitions behind hits well on the build up from above that the nature of this voice carries. And the ending too, I love it depicts how it has been told to everyone to grow up and just take the lead and do your thing without being imperfect. I like the theme overall. I can see your works growing, can't wait to read them!