#Menendez

26 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

quiet pine
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So alike but separated—
despise each other yet treat me the same.
One preserves to forsake my circumstance;
the other indulges themselves with their games.

Their fussy, fastidious mouths chatter amidst the uproar
drunk, blurry leadership suffocated in negligence.
Hide-and-seek as they haunt to gash my face;
my self-esteem, they yearn to deface.

Upstanding behavior, yet so afraid—
for their deceivingly virtuous nature to be unveiled.
But fear not, the church choir hailed;
for they can seek refuge into our faith.

Oh why, oh why has the public been misled—
to reject the treatment of the impaired?
Our brains jammed with leucotome,
as they drill our heads into stone.

Care for myself, I am unable—
therefore, in need of their assistance.
If unconstrained my life was—
I'd dispose of their existence.

I'd start with the tongue—
scrape their words of every meaning.
Demolish their unholy sanctimony;
for the devil, I keep it clean.

They would drown in the murky mud,
for they do not deserve a gracious wake.
My pupils dry as the coldest ice;
no remorse for the wicked fakes.

Interment of the lowest devise,
delighted at their immortal slumber.
Will harmony find my number—
as I behold their rightful demise?

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<@&1145760802666717234>

zinc tapir
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rly vivid and well written

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the rhyming scheme is a little difficult to follow though

quiet pine
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i mean having no rhyme scheme is kind of my poetic style

zinc tapir
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sort of adds to the chaos

quiet pine
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since i belive that poems arent defined by whats external (rhyme scheme structure) and more on what is internal (the content)

quiet pine
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since i only do confessional poetry free verse poetry im not partial to traditional meter/rhyme schemes

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thank you so much though i appreciate it

zinc tapir
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i also can only write free verse

quiet pine
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i feel you

zinc tapir
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what is it about btw?

quiet pine
zinc tapir
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im getting resentment towards the system that raised u maybe parental or religious

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its really strong emotional writing

quiet pine
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thank you

zinc tapir
quiet pine
quiet pine
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@gleaming ermine
what are ur thoughts on this?

gleaming ermine
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This is well written but seems a higher level. So make sure you write some easy ones too for IG people

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Because your audience won't just be poets. But more will be normal audience

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You must connect with the audience afterall