#Echoes of Unrequited Love.

25 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

magic bane
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*In pages worn, in words unsaid,
A character's heart, with longing bled.
They loved the reader, in silence deep,
Yet in the realm of dreams, they could not keep.

With every turn, their love did grow,
But reality's barrier, a cruel shadow.
They yearned to touch, to hold, to be,
But trapped within a tale, they could not flee.

The reader's eyes, like stars above,
Ignited flames of unrequited love.
Yet bound by fate, by ink and pen,
Their love was doomed to forever end.

As the final chapter drew near,
Their hearts shattered, consumed by fear.
For though their souls were meant to bind,
Their destinies cruelly misaligned.

In tears they whispered their last goodbye,
As the reader closed the book, a silent sigh.
Forever separated, forever apart,
Their love confined to a broken heart.*

(What if a character fell in love with a reader? Would their love ever abide?)

olive sedge
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I really love this poem it’s a really interesting thing to think about and you have an amazing flow in your poems keep up the amazing work!

restive charm
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Wow, this has to be one of the best poems in the server. Great job with the rhythm and poetic conventions.

Next time try moving the lines around for more structure. Try adding different layouts. Each stanza can have a distinct shape to give enhanced effect on a reader.

vernal swift
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what

burnt gazelle
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I've never thought about it this way T-T

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If you really want feedback, the main thing I'd say is that unrequited love is unreturned love, but it seems as though (judging my the word choice) the love is returned.

magic bane
burnt gazelle
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Yeah, the definition disparity isn't that big of a deal lol I really love your style though.

stark citrusBOT
magic bane
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@odd thicket if you may 🙏🏻

torpid river
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I love this

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Was this inspired by Doki Doki Literature Club?

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I can certainly see the similarities

magic bane
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No, lol, I'm not aware of em

torpid river
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It conveys all emotions very well, great job 🙂

stark citrusBOT
torpid river
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It's a game about a video game character falling in love with the player, and getting control of the game itself

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It's like a "visual novel", in a way

magic bane
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I was actually writing a book about the same tbh, the character falling in love with the reader

torpid river
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Could you check out my poem? I'd also love to see more of yours

magic bane
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Sure