Last part: “What is this…feeling?”

[rigid belfry]

“It is a weak flame that will never be extinguished.”

“It is the faint sound of a heart beating;
Beating for you only;
Pounding at your window, seeking.
Seeking your love, forever lonely.”

“It’s a far cry, a hopeless tear
A sound that you will never hear.”

“It branded my spirit
With thine celestial image.”

“Yet - for as long as I live,
Neglecting the scorching pain,
I will love you always.”

“Is it that I’m obsessed?”

[rigid belfry]

Last part: “What is this…feeling?”

[rigid belfry]

Thank you. It was copied and pasted here from another app and I forgot to remove the quotation marks.

[rigid belfry]

This is because I ve originally written it in my notepad app.

[nocturne holly]

finally getting to this!^^ give me a moment to break this down and fully respond

right off the bat i resonate with this poem and its meaning
it’s pretty straight forward, but it has a nice flow and balance from line to line and stanza to stanza

in a way, it’s both like explanatory and a discussion with oneself
the repetition of words further intensifies the poem, putting stress on key phrases and messages and drawing attention to certain parts while drawing attention away from others

i love the use of metaphors relating to fire and celestia, not only because those two go together so hand in hand, but they’re great metaphors and references for the expression of unrequited love

it’s short and simple but it gets the message across in a symbolic and emotional way without being “loud” or like a cry for help

considering the quotations were something you accidentally forgot to remove i wouldn’t worry too much about it, but this poem could honestly make some use of them, particularly in the last line
all in all a poem well written with lots of potential for personal improvement, mostly in terms of creativity and flow

[rigid belfry]

Thank you for your feedback

@nocturne holly but like I said, let me know if you wanna read the whole thing. You don’t have to analyse it or anything, but just for your own enjoyment or curiosity. Just remember that it’s worse than this part.

Basically for every poem I make a prototype then I transform each bit into better poetry with short bursts of inspiration. This is what happened with this one.

This whole think used to be a stanza made up of the first, third to last and second to last lines.

[nocturne holly]

ou that’s a neat process honestly

it’s kind of fascinating to hear how others write

personally i write entirely on impulse / whim and i don’t do much editing outside fixing typos and line breaks

so it’s kind of interesting to see a poet who puts their work together bit by bit kind of like how an author might a book or essay

[rigid belfry]

That s what I do too(“bursts of inspiration”).

Except I use the inspiration to develop my poems

For me it s a life long process

[nocturne holly]

it’s an interesting thought!
but whatever works for you is what’s most important
that’s the fun in poetry