Hallway of Confliction

[hoary finch]

A turn
Breathless
Stunning me
A friendly smile, making me cry,
Killing me.
A patronizing look, and yet I feel
The greatest patron of arts,
Ever to walk.
An invitation, an extended hand,
But how am I to reach out when
Everything she does, hurts
My head,
My heart,
My soul.

[gloomy solstice]

its ok, with free verse you can have as many lines and as many words so try to be more descriptive

[velvet flicker]

The first four lines do well in capturing a rhythm, similar to a rapper's lyrics. In a way, Mike Shinoda comes to mind with how emotional those lines are. I am unsure if this was your intention, but consider treating this free verse, almost like free-style rap, if that piques your interest. Like October said, use as many lines and words as you wish.

[hoary finch]

ah yea I do struggle to write longer things usually, but I'm working on it. Thank you for the advice 💖

[gloomy solstice]

no problem if you want i can ping you in one of my free verse

[hoary finch]

It wasn't really, but now you point it out! I may try to write more like that, the first bit is my favourite here, so thank you 💖

[hoary finch]

absolutely, I'd love that!

[gloomy solstice]

i can always help if need be

[hoary finch]

I'd love that! I always just sort of feel I'm repeating myself or that things are too disconnected for it to be any sort of coherent writing.

[gloomy solstice]

never be afraid to repeat yourself

if that is your weakness make it strength

here i’ll dm you

if your open for that

[hoary finch]

for sure, go ahead!

[hoary finch]

A breathless turn, devastating me
A cordial smile, eliciting tears in my eyes
Blurring my view, delivering knives to my heart.
A patronising look, yet I feel the greatest patron of arts,
Ever to parade the land.
An invitation, an extended hand, but how am I
To reach out when
Everything she does, aches,
My leery mind, my stale soul.