#Mere words I would never say to you in person

286 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

foggy linden
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I envy the mirror that shows the reflection of God's divine creation,
when you stand infront of it.

I envy those eyes that gets to see you everyday.

I envy those angels that gather around to hear your giggles .

I envy those rings that you wear, that gets to touch your skin.

I envy all your garments that gets to smell like you.

I envy that random 3 am  caller that gets to hear your sleepy voice.

I envy the breeze that touches your sheer pink cheeks

I envy the paths where you walk alone while humming your favourite song.

I envy the people around you.
Not that I want to.
More like I am destined to.

Screenshot_20240503_162956_Chrome.jpg
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@serene mountain @ebon fiber

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Is it fine or should I just-

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Mere words I would never say to you in person

ebon fiber
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bruh wow jus wow I love every line that starts with "envy" and the ending is heartbreaking "more like I'm destined to" wt u on bruh
"i envy those eyes that gets to see you everyday" bruh "those rings that you wear" uhh I'm speechless tbh

who hurt you bro
here are some 🌷🌷🌷tulips for u

tranquil vigil
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I envy those angels that gather around to hear your gigles.

I envy those rings that you wear, that gets to touch your skin.

I envy all of your garments that gets to smell like you.

God damn!

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Imagine someone writes this for you! Oh right I can only imagine

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I am a bit mad because i wasnt pinged in this one

finite island
foggy linden
foggy linden
ebon fiber
foggy linden
finite island
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I still have a long ways to go lol again thxs for the support

foggy linden
tranquil vigil
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I like how you described the person's feature like:
I envy the mirror that shows the reflection of God's divine creation,
when you stand infront of it.

I envy those angels that gathers around to hear your gigles.

I envy the breeze that touches your sheer pink cheecks"

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You make it sound like the person is so precious and you do admire him so much❤️

finite island
foggy linden
foggy linden
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@velvet chasm

loud shell
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Nicely done poem.

velvet chasm
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Just know that before i give you my honest feedback you asked for im notan experienced poet or have any technical skills its just all my personal opinion

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first off, its really good like i really really like it. I especially like how each verse started with "i envy"

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i think you overused the word "that" and its not necessary in some places

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I envy those eyes that get to see you everyday.

I envy those rings you wear, as they get to touch your skin.

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but then again, "that" does work cause it adds to the cohesiveness of the poem

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just depends on the way you look at it

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you made the mistake of gets instead of get in a couple places

dim torrentBOT
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*you made the mistake

of gets instead of get in

a couple places*

- perry_the_platypus07
velvet chasm
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I envy the people around you.
Not that I want to.
More like I am destined to.

you could add on here, it feels like the poem ended abruptly

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More like I am destined to. - this part could be written in more words, described instead of said directly

serene mountain
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Oml wowie
Perfection
Last stanza is my fav
How I had all this scattered in my mind
You gave words to my thoughts
Lovely man
This time you left me stunned

foggy linden
foggy linden
foggy linden
serene mountain
foggy linden
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@cobalt cosmos don't pretend you didnt read it

cobalt cosmos
foggy linden
foggy linden
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You deleted it?

cobalt cosmos
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'I envy those angels that gather around to hear your gigles.'
They're only here to see me react to this poem my spokes-person... only to see me react.

serene mountain
foggy linden
tranquil vigil
foggy linden
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@bleak bramble @radiant kite @mellow sigil @tired bone both good and bad feedbacks are appreciatedWave

bleak bramble
foggy linden
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These are just mere words. Just mere words @tranquil vigil

foggy linden
bleak bramble
foggy linden
terse kindle
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@foggy linden 5 @ at a time is the limit

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I removed the time out, take care from next time

foggy linden
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@serene mountain

tired bone
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@foggy linden

Cannot properly review poems unfortunately, However i like the use of imagery in your poem, while also expressing jealousy.

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A solid 9.9/10

foggy linden
foggy linden
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@radiant kite. I need a toffee too

radiant kite
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Stanza 3, its not “gigles” its “giggles”. Stanza 4 is kinda weird honestly, but I think its “get” there, not gets. I like the actual theme, and the image attached. Actually you can remove “of” in stanza 5, just all your garments. Except that, no errors I can see of. 8/10

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Nice one

foggy linden
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But it's gets actually

radiant kite
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Get also can be used

foggy linden
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Thank you for the feedbackWave

radiant kite
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I’ll probably proofread this later

tranquil vigil
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@foggy linden where you at?

foggy linden
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Stud̺y̺i̺n̺g̺

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Hmm... Let me guess... She must've said, "Why is she so envious?"

tranquil vigil
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Nope. She said, "She described herself in the first stanza"

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💀

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I told her I wish she would write something for me too

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::''')))

foggy linden
foggy linden
tranquil vigil
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Yeah she's one heck of a poetcatstare_2

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She asked me, "If I were a glass, would you still love me?"

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💀

radiant kite
foggy linden
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Aww she's a keeper. Bless her!

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@tranquil vigil you better treat her right🪽

foggy linden
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What did you answer then?

tranquil vigil
tranquil vigil
radiant kite
foggy linden
tranquil vigil
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Don't Zar! Don't!

foggy linden
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*writes down every little questions and thanks Jess

tranquil vigil
tribal kestrelBOT
tranquil vigil
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Of course you will thanks her. Afterall she's your friend right?
Who cares about my sorrows?

foggy linden
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I'll help her as much as I can

tranquil vigil
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Btw I am heading out to practice volleyball. I'll come back and drop a bomb....
This time it'll make you mad at her

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For

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Sure

foggy linden
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Bet

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I'll give you the satisfaction then

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(We'll never fight💀)

serene mountain
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ps: My gf is now mad at me and asks me to write her such poems.. well done i guess :))

foggy linden
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Thank you though. I'll take it as a compliment ✨

serene mountain
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are u indian?

foggy linden
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Nope

tranquil vigil
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@foggy linden Zara be doing it for purposeemoji_82

foggy linden
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Imagine texting when your still at practice @tranquil vigil

tranquil vigil
foggy linden
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"I'll solve equations with my right hand and write poetrys with my left. I'll take a potato chip... and eat it!"

tranquil vigil
mellow creekBOT
serene mountain
foggy linden
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Thanks angel

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Where have you been? We missed you

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They were debating over some names

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Golgappe or puchka

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@serene mountain what do you call it?

serene mountain
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Who they

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Actually I had severe cramps

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I was sleeping dead

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You weren't there in gallery yesterday night right

foggy linden
foggy linden
foggy linden
serene mountain
serene mountain
serene mountain
foggy linden
serene mountain
foggy linden
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Off topic but kasmir sure is pretty

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Have you been there?

serene mountain
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Nah

rancid kayak
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you were so right that i would feel this one, thank you i love it so much, this one ill hold onto forever probably

foggy linden
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Means a LOT✨

serene mountain
tranquil vigil
mellow sigil
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FIRE ASF @radiant kite

radiant kite
foggy linden
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Bye bye

tranquil vigil
foggy linden
tranquil vigil
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@foggy linden Zara....

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@foggy linden zors

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@foggy linden zoraaa

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Prove it that your alive

tranquil vigil
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@foggy linden Zara... 𝘋𝘪𝘥𝘴 𝘪 𝘴𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘻 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘺𝘥𝘴 𝘮𝘢𝘥𝘻? :3

foggy linden
tranquil vigil
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Oh fu** that. You'll kill it

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Why do you have to stress so much and study?

foggy linden
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No no. No bad words allowed

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Talk in that enjilos.
Let the poor girl pass her test will you?

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Have a good day Lee Wave

tranquil vigil
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Okay okay fine

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This server feels gloomy.

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Come back soon☄️

foggy linden
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How about making some new friends? Can I introduce you to some?

tranquil vigil
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Oh so your treating me like a kindergarten kid now?

foggy linden
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I sure am

tranquil vigil
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Just come back after your exams

foggy linden
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Dont make me cry. Its gonna be bad

tranquil vigil
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Finalllllly your back huh?

foggy linden
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An idea came in my mind last night

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And I vowed that I'll follow it

tranquil vigil
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That idea better not include something crazy

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Spill the tea

foggy linden
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Bet

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From now on I'll type the way I like. (Well maybe not to everyone though)

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It starts from now

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Cud u help me with it?

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See?

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Oh on its actually cood right? Or cuud?

tranquil vigil
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Dear God. Take me away

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Zara has lost it

foggy linden
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Oh no. No backing down now.
Lee you better support me now

tranquil vigil
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Okay okay

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I shood support you

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🤦‍♂️

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Where do you get all these crazy thoughts?

tribal kestrelBOT
foggy linden
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Know should ne typed as no

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Do you agree?

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Add some words more. My mind is blank

tranquil vigil
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I have a lotta words in my mind

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But I'll stop you here. I have a feeling you'll get everyone else in this world start thinking like you

foggy linden
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Till my sickness spreads worldwide ~

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You'll be the one to get infected firstcoolpotat

tranquil vigil
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I choose peace

foggy linden
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Tch.
Peace was never an option, Lee.

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And I cant bury my friend like thatSolusCutsCutsCuts

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Tell Jess to give me some words...

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Clear?

tranquil vigil
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Clear as the sand-
I mean as clear as water

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On it, Zar.

drowsy stag
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holy 230 message thread, took me a while to get to the poem

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its very nice, love the repetition of “I envy”

foggy linden
foggy linden
tranquil vigil
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@foggy linden @foggy linden @foggy linden

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Really?

foggy linden
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what?

tranquil vigil
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You aren't posting anything latelycarlSkeptical

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Tortoise

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🕵️

foggy linden
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Hey rabbit, slow down a bit

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Slow and steady wins the race

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Lets respect the rules. Message in off topic

tranquil vigil
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This is my space

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My poetry

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You shoo

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🕊️

foggy linden
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I said he'll be the death of me, expecting him to kill me slowly

dim torrentBOT
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*I said he'll be the

death of me, expecting him

to kill me slowly*

- u_umm
foggy linden
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Not to skin me alive bit by bit. He dosent want to kill but still is~

tranquil vigil
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:3

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Sweet af

foggy linden
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Sweet? It's not suppossed to be sweet, Liam.

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It has a dark meaning behind it

tranquil vigil
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With that pfp everything looks sweet

foggy linden
tranquil vigil
tranquil vigil
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Good night, Zara! Sweet dreams✨ @foggy linden

foggy linden
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OH MY GOD

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WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?
YOU THINK I CAN SLEEP AFTER SEEING THAT?

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What a good way to wish goodnight right?mad

tranquil vigil
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Because you are online this late.

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You've got more incoming

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Should I continue or-

foggy linden
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Fine fine

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Going

tranquil vigil
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Good.

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❤️

foggy linden
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@upbeat trench

dusty nacelle
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😭 Damnn...I absolutely loved this!!
Its MASTERPIECE wowww!!!!!!!!!
@foggy linden

foggy linden
dusty nacelle
foggy linden
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Glad to hear that🌻

dusty nacelle
upbeat trench
upbeat trench
foggy linden
foggy linden
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Vanishing from discord is my thing though😌

frigid copper
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Very nice, I like the eerie haunting vibe and reptition!