My Little Old Friends

[true yarrow]

@sweet dock

[true yarrow]

very good theme there. I also loved the rhyming scheme. My fav stanza
Though once the bars shut
And I'm exiled into the slammer
Will my last breaths be of some callous stammer?
Poised for defense, forced into attack
Our house burned
By your arsonist match.

solid 8/10

[true yarrow]

thank you so much

that was one stanza i was so proud of

hAHA YES

u should be

also im new into poetry.. so would u mind rating 1 of mine?

of course!

[sweet dock]

i liked the rhyme scheme of the first stanza a lot, though "manipulate my world, be discerning" is quite ambiguous in its meaning due to the definition of discerning. the third stanza-- is there a Taylor Swift 'hoax' reference there? nice. i like the concept of dreams hidden underneath sutures. for the fourth stanza, i like the first line quite a bit, as it has links to the last stanza and the narrative flows well. but i must admit that the second line doesn't make much sense with the word 'prevalence'. what does that line mean? the sudden mentions of both summer and chemistry felt a little out of nowhere. i like how the fifth stanza brings back themes from the past, but what does 'under your alcoves, i resist to feel' mean? the ending packs a punch. overall through editing some of these themes can be unified and made stronger with links between them as currently the poem is a bit muddled with mixed metaphors, but i liked reading this poem. thank you for writing and sharing this!

[true yarrow]

hi! thank you so much for another great review, this poem was again another personal theme regarding my own friendship with many metaphors used that wouldn’t quite be easily as grasped if you didn’t exactly know the backstory! “uncover the history of our chemistry” was a way to articulate how the speaker would re open their relationship’s past and contemplate it in a way, trying to understand the “chemistry” of it, referring to the complex or psychological relationship between two people

“summer” was also the time frame in which this friendship may have happened or ended