me & you

[zenith elk]

@hoary estuary
@fathom elbow
@spark matrix

@cerulean shoal
@rose raft
@elder briar
@ripe hazel

[tired tinsel]

@zenith elk I wish keed would've seen what I wrote and sung once.

[zenith elk]

@soft spoke
@ivory pawn
@wraith pumice
@final moon
@limpid jungle

[tired tinsel]

https://discord.com/channels/944439929734312006/1235475094676049941

[zenith elk]

@trim trench

[trim trench]

Dog in the nicest way

I thought that I was depressed

The single best thing this server has done for me is shown me that mfers feel this sh*t more than I do

No disrespect

[tired tinsel]

'how did it felt
when someone loved you
when you were alive
and not just a dead corpse'
It felt as if I was my skin was eternity and my insides were a void nullifying that eternity.

*Talking to his delusions.

[zenith elk]

obviously

[cunning whale]

Keed slayed
I was thinking which was my fav part in the poem
Nd I realised I can't choose

[zenith elk]

aww thankyou

[cunning whale]

I didn't read it with song
But the song u choose
I like it

[tired tinsel]

@zenith elk I wish I could tell keed that a new song has just been added to my playlist.

[zenith elk]

ikr this song is gud @cunning whale @tired tinsel

[cunning whale]

Absolutely lovely

I wonder if it goes with your poem

Coz it's been a while
To I don't remember lyrics

[trim trench]

Song was good poem was good

[zenith elk]

listen to it when u got time lol

[zenith elk]

ayyy thanks

[zenith elk]

😭🫂

[trim trench]

Yeah i was boutta say

[trim trench]

I stand by my previous statement lol

[cunning whale]

Ig I'll have to do it rn
Coz my fav asked me

[zenith elk]

aww okay🤡

[zenith elk]

🌞🤝

wtf why does this emoji so bad on discord

[trim trench]

maybe I'll write like this when my gf breaks up with me

speaking of

@zenith elk

Gimme some insight on my poems I have ZERO comments

[zenith elk]

ok sure

[trim trench]

Also same comment on prose that I made for @modern niche

[zenith elk]

hey don't say that
I hope guys stay together forever

[zenith elk]

ok wait

[trim trench]

Sorry I meant "if/when:

"if/when"

[tired tinsel]

I wish @zenith elk returns and comments on your poems. You seem like such a nice guy brother.

[trim trench]

I try to be

I just don't have the mindset for poetry

It's like a uhhh

IDK I feel it only for my gf? I can read and offer insight onto rhyme scheme for others?

But I don't feel the emotions or w/e

the same way

[zenith elk]

it's okay I'm good with ur rhyme schemes feedbacks too

[trim trench]

Hol up lemme critique the rhyme scheme on this poem

O

[hoary estuary]

Guess it's time I send this to him... Who is so lucky that this girl loves him.
@zenith elk. He is indeed lucky✨

❤️

[cunning whale]

Ig
When it comes to songs
I'm no help
@tired tinsel
Might be the one who has phd in former subject

[tired tinsel]

I indeed have one.

[trim trench]

Damn yall finished college?

[cunning whale]

Aha!
If it's that
I support each and every word of @hoary estuary

[brave island]

*Aha! If it's that

I support each and every

word of @u_umm*

- noyb_8413

[cunning whale]

Proove that it's of good use
Here

[cunning whale]

Idk about him
But not me

[tired tinsel]

https://open.spotify.com/track/13z7RLPmgupzRwQY9NiTZU?si=8fad4763c0c24af4

[hoary estuary]

.
Let's go and drag keed's lover here. And make him see this. He'll cry..

[tired tinsel]

Not good for this poem but I just felt like sending it.

[cunning whale]

Yay!
Only if she has one

[trim trench]

This also doesn't fit the poem just trying you guys on for size musically https://open.spotify.com/track/7AiyEjzPzmxIyvJVw2g8w3?si=7745a99f66ba4341

[zenith elk]

yea "only if she has one"

[trim trench]

Hey quick question

[zenith elk]

uk this is gud song but as I wrote the poem from my pov which is a girls pov that's the reason i think July fits perfectly

[trim trench]

Do you guys read everything that comes through this channel?

[zenith elk]

make it quick

3

2

[tired tinsel]

Bold of you to assume that.

[zenith elk]

1

[trim trench]

already out wym?

I sent it even before the make it quick post

[zenith elk]

oh mb

[trim trench]

You're the slow one not me (here)

[zenith elk]

nope

[trim trench]

Okay

Because I'm feeling swamped by the notifications

[zenith elk]

*the reason I turned it off

[zenith elk]

lol thanks

[zenith elk]

@elder briar

@cunning whale

[elder briar]

First it all, that many lines in one stanza hurts my eyes , use multiple stanzas. And there are many other words than love to describe love. Refrain from using that word again and again. And that dead corpse line is definitely out of perfects poem . Line 3 to 5 are AN EYESORE HONESTLY PLEASE USE SEPARATE STANZAS I BEG YOU, and shorten the lines. Vocab can definitely improve the quality of this poem.

[zenith elk]

ok I'll look into it thanks

[zenith elk]

about the dead corpse line idr but i wrote this poem on 29 feb so idk maybe a wild coincidence

[elder briar]

Coincidence i see

[zenith elk]

lol u don't believe me do u

[elder briar]

Who am I to judge

[tired tinsel]

[tired tinsel]

My brother you are the jury itself.

[elder briar]

Ma homie coming in clutch returns the tea

[tired tinsel]

*sips

[elder briar]

https://tenor.com/view/dancing-cat-dance-cat-cat-meme-chinese-cat-gif-12629347036627000898

[zenith elk]

u are here to judge
judge all you want

[modern niche]

Remind me?

[zenith elk]

@mint kernel

@wraith pumice

@nimble timber

[ivory pawn]

Good poem

[zenith elk]

thanks

[zenith elk]

@tulip folio

[trim trench]

This one "The single best thing this server has done for me is shown me that mfers feel this sh*t more than I do"

[modern niche]

oh lmao

[zenith elk]

@frail geode

[frail geode]

There's a lot of relatability in your poems, which I do like.

The repetition is good, too.
:D

[zenith elk]

hehe thanks

[ripe hazel]

I think the review I gave in last poem of yours (I think it was suicide note) applies here too, except extention part, so I'll rate this one a 7.5/10

[tryna save both of our times with a lil bit of fender bender so forgive me]