quite a sad impactful poem. it's got a brilliant and coherent narrative, and it's clearly very vulnerable, so i applaud you for writing it. to nitpick it, i would say the abstraction in "Entering the labyrinth of horrors" drew me out of the immersion just a little, but the second stanza drew me back in with how nicely you've painted the picture of a child who was blind to drug abuse. the third stanza was punchy and very understandable and gave us readers a solid feeling to empathize with. there's immense amounts of tension in "Through the glass I hear a rasp / At coffee shops and late night walks / She resumes her continuous stalks." which implies quite a number of things. i like the metaphor of the door you've layered meanings upon by juxtaposing her entrance in the first stanza vs the denial of her entry at the sixth stanza. and the final stanza just nailed the feelings you've given the readers with a final solid impact, which makes it a really good ending to this poem. thank you very very much for writing and sharing this piece! i look forward to reading more from you. can you tag me in your other poems or your future poems?
#The Lady of Barren Soul and Sadness
mossy egret
inland ember
quite a sad impactful poem. it's got a brilliant and coherent narrative, and it'...
WOW thank you so much for your comment! This poem is one that truly hits home, and for me I really found it cathartic to write so I genuinely adore that you also found this meaningful. Critiques are always invited. I will be sure to tag you in any future poems as well!
inland ember
The Lady of Barren Soul and Sadness
It's mesmerizing how your words seep in my veins, how your expression draws the depth of it all. I can feel that melancholy. Awesome work! :)) @inland ember
inland ember
It's mesmerizing how your words seep in my veins, how your expression draws the ...
i’m so warmed by your comment. thank you so much for appreciating this piece and allowing it to connect with you!! 🫶🏻
arctic hamlet
Hey, this is a very impactful poem. I appreciate how clear the message is, how vulnerable it all is. I would like to piggy back pretty much everything @mossy egret said 😂 Lazy I know, but it was well said!
inland ember
thank you!
inland ember
the poem really has a grim appearence. The way u describe THE LADY is wonderfull.. some heavy words here and there haha but again.. crisp.. also ur conclusion really drew me in.8.5/10. The last stanza defo my fav.
thank you!!
this one was really personal so i’m so glad it resonates with a lot of ppl
inland ember
this one was really personal so i’m so glad it resonates with a lot of ppl
it sure does