#The Center Of The Universe (First Poem)

10 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

wise breach
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Drifting through space in deep deep slumber, encased in frozen silence alone, millions of miles from home, shivering, slowly freezing, wondering, missing the warmth of home. How long has it been since I felt the warmth of the sun? Will I ever go home ? Yearning to return to colorful times, awaken the flames of freedom within, find the golden key of existence. Discover why born, why meant to exist. Spread wings of freedom, soar like an eagle towards cosmic skies, witness the rebirth of a colossal white tree. Golden leaves echo memories of life, pondering the meaning of existence. To die? Or to live?

Suddenly, a door of light appears upon the horizon, beyond lies an ocean of eternal freedom, hopes, wishes, ambitions, and dreams. Humanity's echoes heard. Enter the door, find the golden key, unlock your lost soul, burst with blinding light. Realize answers lie before, always before.

Each human, a world within humanity's cosmos. Exist not to die, but to live fully. Purpose is to live. True freedom? Awakening to morning's sunrise, inhaling a garden of flowers, basking in summer's sunshine, savoring earth's food, listening to birds chirp. Breaking chains of despair, exploding with colorful fireworks. Learning to walk life's path, loving oneself. True freedom within infinite soul. Breathe the wind of creation, flow with the river of the universe. Exist because wanted by God. Meaning of existence is love. So Love yourself, love humanity, love the world and universe.

For it is all love.

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A White Tree (First poem)

wise breach
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languid cape
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Disclaimer: I'm not a professional whatsoever, but I'd still like to give you feeddback, so here we go:

wise breach
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Street fighter is fire

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Okay

languid cape
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  • I really enjoy the imagery you've built into you poem. The words you choice are interesting and intriguing.
  • What is missing for me is some sort of structure. You've marked it as free verse, which is alright, but the fact that there is no structure makes it challenging to follow what is actually going on.
  • However, the point mentioned before also offers somewhat of a way to interpret the poem better. Not having a structure can help it feel more free, but in this case, a little more structure would have been nice.
  • Overall, a great try at a first poem, keep it up
wise breach
languid cape
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Hopefully it's somewhat helpful. Looking forward to what you'll create in the future