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#things you learn from fireflies
dense sedgeBOT
plain flicker
I like this but ngl I don’t think the line breaks u chose are doing it justice
Try removing some breaks and making longer lines, see what happens
maiden karma
I like this but ngl I don’t think the line breaks u chose are doing it justice
...
well the line breaks are kind of intentionally weird, I don't really want to change it up bc it adds to the poem for me
but if it makes it harder to read then maybe I could rework it
plain flicker
well the line breaks are kind of intentionally weird, I don't really want to cha...
What is the effect u see it adding
celest harborBOT
maiden karma
What is the effect u see it adding
was trying to accentuate certain words and parts of sentences, to draw more attention to them
the idea was that by isolating certain words in very short lines, those words would stand out more
maiden karma
I like this but ngl I don’t think the line breaks u chose are doing it justice
...
thank u for the feedback btw, I didn't really think too much about the line breaks but I now realize that it does kind of do weird things for the poem 
plain flicker
I think a lot of the words provide their own emphasis
Like “we were locked in her orbit”, to read it u would already be like we were LOCKED in her ORBIT
I think some of the short lines are fine but others kinda disrupt the flow
maiden karma
I think a lot of the words provide their own emphasis
Like “we were locked in h...
ok, thanks. I'll look at it some more tomorrow bc I'm too tired tonight lol
maiden karma
@tough cradle
upper wolf
This is a really nice piece of poetry. The imagery and metaphors are vivid and quite creative. It creates a surreal and dreamy mood, and the way the speaker compares the evening’s aura with the fireflies’ light and the fading shadows is spot on.
The theme of fleeting memories is also very present in this poem, and you seem to struggle with accepting and letting go of things that you loved in the past. The line “we didn’t really remember the gods and lightning bugs we caught in jars— not keeping the dreamlike flickering time when we caught the aroma of grass and pulsed leaves in our fingers” was a great ending to the poem though it confused me a bit.
maiden karma
This is a really nice piece of poetry. The imagery and metaphors are vivid and q...
Thank you so much for your kind words 🫶
To explain the ending a little: this poem is about coping with grief and loss of loved ones. The ending is meant to communicate that though the speaker was "wholly convinced we had to relinquish her", one doesn't have to let go of all the little memories they shared with a deceased loved one. The fireflies and "gods and lightning bugs" represent the small things, memories, and nostalgia, so the ending is just showing that the speaker had memories with their loved one and was forgetting about all the happy and beautiful things in their grief.
hopefully that helps to understand the poem better 🫡 it's also meant to be a very vague and open poem that could be interpreted different ways
upper wolf
oh tysm for the explanation! it really helps with understanding it better
grim crow
The no line breaks whatsoever hurts my soul a little bit, you have excellent worth choices and great imagery in this piece though!💜
maiden karma
The no line breaks whatsoever hurts my soul a little bit, you have excellent wor...
Eep sorry
that’s just my style kind of
torn yarrow
its really beautiful. love your way with words. the imagery is vivid,clear. language is evocative. 8/10
steep urchin
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