#The White Meadow

54 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

broken shadow
#

There lies a vast white meadow,
The four corners, its boundaries,
But no boundary can raze the creativity,
Adorning the soil of the great white meadow.

What shall be my metaphor?
What words does heart adore?
Just another stanza, I swore,
But no, I think I'll do some more!

Over pearly grass-blades a gallop echoes,
Black horse, dark as ink, erratic as night,
Leaves naught but words beneath its hooves,
Will love or sorrow paint the great white meadow?

What shall I write today?
What can my mind portray?
The amount of ideas we convey,
Greater than the Milky Way!

Stallion lays down an inky pathway,
It gallops proudly, footfall like a song,
Speaks loudly to man's mind, passion and love,
His soul seeks peace in the great white meadow.

What shall be my next rhyme?
What if I turn feelings into my chime?
Write about life, hatred or crime?
Maybe, I'll just take my time.

On pitch black steed travels a rider,
One who makes ink puddles come to life,
He who calls himself poet and writer,
And gives meaning to the great white meadow.

Oh, to live in the meadow,
Just how wonderful that would be,
To do as we wish, fulfil inner poet's desires,
Yonder and beyond, just within reach...

In dreams, whence began the great white meadow.

#

This is the poem I wrote for the poetry contest and I have already submitted it

Only now have I sent it here, as an easy way to share it with everyone

marsh pike
broken shadow
#

Thank you 😄

#

@mental blaze
@old marten

#

I believe I've already shown you this one

#

But just to make sure

old marten
#

STUNNING

#

STUNNING

#

AS ALWAYS

#

NO WORDS

#

STILL STUNNING

broken shadow
#

Thank you!

tawny mortar
#

Beautiful words! ❤️ I love how you compared writing to a stallion!

jovial spireBOT
#

*Beautiful words! ❤️ I

love how you compared writing

to a stallion!*

broken shadow
#

I am glad I managed to keep the metaphor simple, for something that is also simple in nature

#

The White Meadow, a mere piece of paper...

#

I'm suprised I came up with that

#

Thank you, again 😄

royal stream
#

vocabulary: didn't need to be super crazy to convey concisely what you wanted to write, and so it's great that you used the words you did. rhyme: there are some occasional rhymes here and there that adds to the musicality of the poem, which. find quite good, especially for readers who like to read poems out loud. of course, the rhymes fit right into a poem that is about writing poems. this means that the rhymes elevated the theme, extremely well done. structure: aside from the last line (which you emphasized by making it a one-liner) all the stanzas are split into good four line chunks. the splits are all very logical, and they made the poem very readable. imageries/metaphors/other rhetorical devices: it’s very refreshing to see an idea like this, where the white meadow is a metaphor for a piece of paper, and that the horse is a metaphor for a pen, and it’s a little bit like the horse is dragging you along, and the rider who actually fulfils that act of creation. if you want to challenge yourself the imagery could go above and beyond, but that's only if you want to challenge yourself. typography: fairly standard, lends itself well to your poem. flow: excellent except for one nitpick. “what words does heart adore?” to me was a bit odd, maybe “what words does the heart adore?” might flow a bit better, but that’s just my personal opinion. overall feel: very self-referential and the depictions reminds me of writing chinese calligraphy, which means that to me this poem is quite relatable and easy to visualize. wonderful poem. thank you for writing and sharing this piece! onto the next one

broken shadow
#

@kind siren This one is thematically similar to the second one you showed me, so I'm choosing to show you this one 🙂

vital tangle
#

@vital tangle

#

I will read, gimme a min

kind siren
broken shadow
broken shadow
#

@north igloo

north igloo
#

Okay so overall an amazing read. The vocabulary is perfect for the theme and the way u expressed your feelings. The flow again is beautiful u could turn ut into a song I think. The metaphors and imagery again are awesome paint the picture very vividly. Make the poem come alive a great read. Loved it

broken shadow
#

I'm really glad you loved it 🙂

#

And thank you!!

broken shadow
#

@kind siren

kind siren
# broken shadow There lies a vast white meadow, The four corners, its boundaries, But no boundar...

I like how the metaphor gorgeously flows, the white meadow, what is consists of, what is can hold, what other wonder it can be the ground of that no one would be able to speculate. The depiction of a rider and how his entrance makes the inky pathway come back to life, it's like an almost cinematic attempt of visualizing how words are the liveliness of ink, how they stand and make their way to how the rider wishes. I like how the sole basis of a white meadow is attached with blissful creativity here. Awesome work, Skugi!

broken shadow
#

Thank you!! 😄

winged aspen
#

@broken shadow bro had no idea what to write a poem abt so he wrote abt writing poems

#

god that was beautiful

#

i loved every verse

broken shadow
#

It was actually for the latest contest here

#

A poem about poetry

#

It wasn't exactly my prompt/idea

#

But I'm so happy you liked it, thank you!! 🙂

winged aspen
#

ok now that makes sense

solar stag
#

Your poem captures the essence of the creative process beautifully, from pondering metaphors to weaving words into life. The imagery of the galloping horse and the ink trail it leaves behind is vivid and compelling. It's a wonderful reflection on the power of imagination and the joy of expressing oneself through poetry. Keep doing what your doing! 🫶

hazy crown
gray chasmBOT
hazy crown
full hawk
#

What shall be my metaphor?
What words does heart adore?
Just another stanza, I swore,
But no, I think I'll do some more!
What shall I write today?
What can my mind portray?
The amount of ideas we convey,
Greater than the Milky Way!
I just love these stanzas great job 9.7/10

hazy crown
#

Right?! It was lovely!!
One of my favorite poems so far ✨

vocal ridge
#

the use of figurative language is spot on