Lunisolar

[dreamy delta]

Silhouette of the unknown,
Appears between the stars;
When my destiny thrives,
To meet me in the dark.

Bounded by the tendency,
Of the constellations forming in between;
But I know we are fatal,
Lets wait for the eclipse.

Dancing with the cosmic waves,
On the reunion we made;
Never seen a love so pure,
Until, the day we met.

The longest I met you was for seven minutes,
I'll wait months to meet again
I’m the reason you shine,
I don’t own you but you are mine.

• I am your Helios, you are my Selene

[brittle gazelle]

"when my destiny thrives to meet me in the dark" some gud engaging words u got there

dancing with cosmic waves bruh the words just wording perfectly

i don't own you but you are mine
some dark romance vibes

pretty gud i would say

[limber cape]

“I am your helios, you are my Selene” WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN

THIS IS SOO GOOD

[dreamy delta]

Thank you so much

[dreamy delta]

Thank you. Thank you for saying that.

[soft lichen]

Wonderful! @flint spoke has just pregressed to level 6!

[flint spoke]

Other than that I think it is great

[brittle gazelle]

@analog flax @plain thunder @sk why I can't tag her😭

[dreamy delta]

Thanks for the suggestion

[flint spoke]

Any time

[dreamy delta]

Who do you want to tag?

[brittle gazelle]

how do I tell you if I can't tag her😭

[dreamy delta]

Oh

[brittle gazelle]

mhm

[dreamy delta]

Well you can DM that person's id to me I can try to tag that person

[brittle gazelle]

np i dm'ed her the link

[dreamy delta]

Okay, thanks

@sleek venture

[sleek venture]

I love the words you used here.
They all stand out on each stanza!

The first words were always hooks to me.
Seeing how I kept on reading again and again.

"The longest I met you was for seven minutes,"
This is such a relatable line!

And the ending line with Helios and Selene is such a sweet touch!

The title is also unique, too.
Everything about this poem screams a style of your own.
I love it very much, Saylor!

[dreamy delta]

I appreciate it! Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

[agile quest]

Omg
As someone who's inquisitive about space

I must say you fulfilled my niche
Be it cosmic waves or eclipse
I was blown by all the ideas u putted in
The way you made a necklace (your poem)with such fine pearls (small details)is amazing

[dreamy delta]

Thank you. While writing this I wanted to try something new, and at beginning I didn't planned to write about eclipse, but then I realized that the poem I wrote talks about eclipse and so, I continued writing in that direction which was unexpected(in a good way).

[agile quest]

Some beautiful things happen unplanned

Pls share your work

Or tag me

I'd love to read more of ur work

[dreamy delta]

@pale axle

[dreamy delta]

@languid bloom

[dreamy delta]

@real lodge

[real lodge]

thanks for thee tag! gimme a little time

[real lodge]

vocab/grammar: some grammatical choices here and there perplexed me, especially the two sentences in the first stanza, and the first line of the second stanza. why commas? but i digress. in terms of vocab, a reader can tell straight away that this poem doesn't need a complicated vocabulary in order for you to express what you intended to convey, so your word choices are nice and concise. well done. rhymes: not relevant to the poem. structure: i see that you have split your poem into four logical stanzas with three logical line breaks per stanza, which is great. imageries, metaphors, personification: very cool use of using Helios and Selene as the characters of the sun and the moon. i think you can however push things like stars, eclipse, dancing with cosmic waves, the sun and moon meeting into the next level by employing more imagery. what would it feel like for all those things to happen? it would be a nice challenge for your next poem. typography: fairly standard aside from the one interesting choice you made regarding the last line. personally it didn't feel out of place, just highlighted, which is nice and intentional. great job. flow: could be improved by minding how the sentences and words stress, but overall there are no spot where it is too much of a mouthful or TOO too abrupt, which is a win. overall feel: very serene, very in love vibes. kind of a common idea but you put your own twist to it so the poem did not come off cliche. thank you for writing and sharing this piece!

[dreamy delta]

Thanks a lot for writing this feedback

[dreamy delta]

@plain thunder

@dull patrol

[dreamy delta]

@scarlet holly

[scarlet holly]

person i met at the supermarket vibes

short and sweet, lovely

[dreamy delta]

@solemn pollen

[dreamy delta]

@half mural

@split tree

@thorny plaza

[hidden coral]

this is so beautiful i love the galactic theme and the simplicity. question, is this poem about a familial love?

[agile quest]

Lovely 🥰 poem
Love it!!

[dreamy delta]

This poem is actually about the Sun and the Moon, symbolizing an impossible love. They never shine at the same time, yet they come together during an eclipse, capturing a fleeting but beautiful moment. The imagery reflects their unique and timeless connection, even if it’s only visible during those rare instances.

[hidden coral]

I see. I was just confused because the mention of Helios and Selene made me think this was a sibling thing

nonetheless theres such a lingering ethereal feeling i get from it its so pretty

[dreamy delta]

Thank you so much. Your words made me flatter.

[solemn pollen]

Awhhh I love this one as well, it's really good!!

People are making amazing poems these days
The theme is really good and I like the idea of impossible love symbolized by the sun and moon

[dreamy delta]

Thanks a lot. Thank you so much

[dreamy delta]

@frozen kelp

@daring magnet

[frozen kelp]

Aww! Instantly reminded me about Greek mythology (obviously). When Selene isn't up walking her path in the sky, she comes home to a cave (inside the mount Latmus) in Caria, where Endymion resides. He is lulled into a forever sleep (not dead, though) and Selene is in love with him. But since she can't talk with Endymion and wake him up, she is constantly sad. That's why the moons light is always so solemn, its said.

This seems like a happy ending for Selene - falling in love with Helios instead, with whom she can actually meet. I really loved how sweet and pure this sounded. Your word choice is always so pleasing, too!

[dreamy delta]

Thank you so much for your lovely feedback. I’m thrilled that the poem reminded you of the Greek mythology of Selene and Endymion. I hadn’t originally connected my poem to Greek mythology—I was primarily inspired by the idea of eclipses. It’s fascinating and gratifying to see how readers can bring new layers of meaning to the work.
It’s great to hear that you liked my word choice. Your feedback really means a lot.

[frozen kelp]

Ohh ic ic! The Greek god names immediately reminded me of mythology (current hyper fixation lmao), and I remembered this one fact about Selene.
I'm happy you find my feedback helpful!

[dreamy delta]

@sinful mist

[dreamy delta]

@analog flax

[daring magnet]

Beautiful poem from beginning to end. Nothing ever beats some fine celestial imagery and apostrophe.
Even if it could be considered to be cliché to relate a lover with space, you make it all seem so original and fresh like when you said "dancing in the cosmic waves" and "I know we are fatal, let's wait for the eclipse"

Personifying yourself as the sun and her the moon is such a sweet detail and the fact you confirmed it with "Helios" and "Selene" makes it all the better. Lovely poem indeed

[dreamy delta]

Thanks a lot for such a wonderful feedback.

[dreamy delta]

@agile quest

[dreamy delta]

@tall geode

[dreamy delta]

@dire bane

[dreamy delta]

@calm ravine