Hollowness

[lucid flame]

I'll re-write it.

[quartz plank]

First thing, the final repetition is what I apply myself and appreciate one other using it. The theme is beautiful too. But personally it’s abrupt and too short.

[lucid flame]

IK right

It's missing a plot

[quartz plank]

Too bland imo, the plot carries the theme.

[lucid flame]

ahhh I see