Drunk Apologies to my lover

[ebon tree]

How dare destiny create two creatures
With souls so initially combined
How dare the silk, soft purple of your mind
Contrast so perfectly with mine

Why when the storm rolls in
Do we share in each other's bed
Why when the world cries screaming
Do you linger as lights lyrics in my head

But you reach for my broken body
And you sorrow when I retract
But I cup your face like steeping sweet tea
As your arms go trembling back

How dare we love so different
that I shall not allow
Why you crave what I can’t give you
Would it be just to take my final bow?

--
I'm very new to writing poetry so any advice would be heavily appreciated (and this is a different vibe to my usual work and I'm not sure how I feel about it). Also, I don't really like the name so if you have any ideas please tell me. Thanks!

[west vector]

In all honesty, this could be some wonderful song lyrics. That’s how i read it and it gave me a very wistful feel. There are a few places I personally feel could use some tweaks. Like in “As your arms go trembling back”- perhaps you could switch out “go” for another word? It would just compliment the potency of the line. Also in “silk soft purple” you could use a hyphen between silk and soft. It’s beautiful how you conveyed the magnetic incompatibility of two people. This was pretty cool 🩷

[ebon tree]

Thank you ❤️

[topaz badge]

As with the other one, I love the rhythm of your poetry. This one is actually so close to being in ballad form. But that also might be a tall task for a new poet. My favorite line is, "But I cup your face like steeping sweet tea". Title-wise, hmm, honestly I'm terrible at titles. I just pick the first thing that comes to mind or the first line lol. I sometimes change it later. I think it stems from my exhaustion. "I just spent five hours writing the thing and NOW I have to NAME it? Nope, just this. Done. Publish."