Stars

[zinc peak]

Stars, do not disappoint me tonight,
For I... gave a bright light to you.
They are not blue, they are silver like you.
But the moonlight may blind your true identity.

A disguise that may deceive your eyes,
A snake waiting for his next victim.
Foggy air that enshrouds the land.
Stars, I believe in you, I trust your light.

I gave you everything you could ask for,
So lead me to the silver and right path.
Dark clouds may invade us,
But we can stop their invasion.

A vision of purity maybe imprisoned by darkness,
But illumination vanquishes blackness.
Stars give us that hope. Maybe white snow may fall.
The night sky anew, vibrant stars glisten and bloom.

@foggy cove

@nova birch

@obtuse bison

@steel narwhal

@long swift

@atomic goblet

[elder prairie]

Stars... do not disappoint me tonight,
For I... gave you a bright light,
Neither it's red nor it's blue,
To conceal the darkness of mine...
It's silver like you

A disguise that may deceive your eyes;
The snake waiting to prey, as it cries it's sighs;
Foggy air hides it right;
The hunter rejoices, the prey- dies.

[zinc peak]

so is this ur interpretation of the poem or ?

[obtuse bison]

I kinda envy you now. I had the same idea today. 😤

[elder prairie]

I just thought like re-writing it (a bad habit of mine sry)

[obtuse bison]

Good poem nonetheless.

[zinc peak]

oh ok but thanks for your input

[atomic goblet]

This is something that I would write topic-wise, so this is very endearing to read your spin.
Seeing how you're begging the stars not to disappoint. It's very nice.

Your style is always a highlight as I wonder what words you'll bless such a topic.

Really well put, Vindi!

[zinc peak]

thank you for your kind words

and compliments

[zinc peak]

and thank you too

[elder prairie]

your welcome mate

[untold rain]

Ooh i like it. That way you put your trust on the stars and recognise the light, putting more hope in their lights than in the moonlight when it's more powerful. Hoping they do not disappoint you in your wishes. If you may, can you make a bad ending for this😅 this seems like an already sad poem, let's make it sadder (is that even a word?)

[obsidian nest]

Wonderful! @untold rain has just pregressed to level 3!

[zinc peak]

maybe more depressing or more blue , if u put it that way lmao, but thanks for your breakdown and feedback

[elder prairie]

Stars, give us that hope, maybe white snow may fall,
Hoping for the softness, The disappointment I tolled;
There are no stars tonight,
There is no snow tonight;
The boulders may do us apart for death;
Our skeletons lost, we've become so old.

Like this?

[elder prairie]

I don't think sadness would suit your style bro but romanticism (maybe melancholic?)

[zinc peak]

no like im just saying lol

[elder prairie]

I see, sorry

[zinc peak]

no need to apologize

its ok

[untold rain]

No, something like:

Oh they have disappoint me,
I've put my all but they betrayed me.
The stars gave a false sense of closure.

The stars i had hope for tarnished my wishes.
Promised to fulfill them
But left me alone

Stars, why have you forsaken me?
I saw your light, i adored it
But you killed mine

[elder prairie]

ahhh

[elder prairie]

Yes this suits it better

[untold rain]

Dang imma make this my poem now 😂
Yo @zinc peak can i make this and tag you in it saying it's the bad ending of this poem?

[zinc peak]

lol u can take inspiration from it but you cant take my poem lmao

if u use a line or lines from it , u can just put credits to me

their

[untold rain]

I won't take your poem, i'll just post this poem i just made and say it's the bad ending i thought of

[elder prairie]

Guys can I have your feedback on this one pls https://discord.com/channels/944439929734312006/1231462669358469120 <@&1145760802666717234>

[zinc peak]

Ok

[foggy cove]

WOW I LOVE IT 🥰

Your vocabulary is immaculate and the imager of stars and night gazing is beyond perfection!! Well done!

[zinc peak]

thank you 🥹 🥹

[zinc peak]

@jade arch

[obtuse bison]

When did I get pinged here 😭