A Sorrow Ballad

[idle delta]

A sorrow ballad soothes my black
And broken heart to wake
Along my dreams, on edge of fierce
And scarlet loving make.

With pleasure, dreamer seek my eyes:
Enchantment, true amour
in moonlight gesture sites to lay
in finite sight from shore.

Your talking sweet and tenderness
as anchors, pushing red,
So sing me strokes of wedding night
And fervent tides of bed.

[shadow ether]

Wonderful! @idle delta has just pregressed to level 1!

[fathom epoch]

I love abstract stuff like this. Short, but the beautiful imagery really packed a punch.

"Black and broken heart" is neat aliteration, and "deceit, dreamer seek my eyes"

I think the really sad narrator of this poem is seeking solace in a partner to soothe their own darkness

[idle delta]

I'm glad you enjoyed it

[idle delta]

I had to update it because I realized the meter was off. I would like your opinion on the new version if you have the time.

[idle delta]

@bitter valve

[carmine haven]

This has a really good rhythm to it and the imagery is really well done

[idle delta]

Thank you! I worked really hard on this one to get it right.

[carmine haven]

your work clearly paid off its great

[analog basin]

What does “black” mean in the first stanza?

[idle delta]

charred like being burned

[analog basin]

Oh, got it.

[idle delta]

it's a reference to the other poem, Warmth

this is kind of a series

[analog basin]

I see

I love your use of colours in this poem, and the metaphors like “dreamer seek my eyes” are absolutely lovely to read. I’m loving it truly

[idle delta]

Thank you! This was my first time writing a ballad so I'm glad you enjoyed it