Harsh truth

[dense lava]

The world is an unjust place
Nobody cares for the broken
They'd rather lust to abase
Whoever is not well-spoken

The world is an unjust place
Where abused have to fix themself
Or they wont find a workspace
While the abusers drown in wealth

The world is an unjust place
Where offenders extort the weak
And criticism is debased
Till compassion makes you a freak

The world is an unjust place
And I long to leave it tonight
My sorrows could be erased
Though my heart does want me to fight

[desert flume]

Wonderful! @dense lava has just pregressed to level 18!

[upper ice]

Encapsulated the tragedies of the harsh world well, good work Pelican! 🩷

[dense lava]

thank you very much ❤️

[mint sand]

Peli baby wonderful work here. The repetitions make the poem so much more impactful. A wonderfully articulated poem. Lovely work good job

[dense lava]

Thank you very much hydrae :)
Yes the repetition shwos, that the world isnt changing

From the ancient greeks, to the romans
From spain to todays western civilization

Every single one is riddled by the same mistakes, we keep doing over and over

[mint sand]

Reading ur poems is my pleasure. And yes it's like these people don't even understand why we learn history to learn from our past mistakes but yeah humans don't ever if we see the patterns .

[dense lava]

Seeing the patterns is a blessing and a curse at the same time, but it turns you into a pretty good writer

[mint sand]

Yeah fr.

[dense lava]

@icy isle

[compact pelican]

This was pretty good. I liked some of the key words.

[icy isle]

1: you say you long to leave it tonight, sounds like suicide
2: I think it would be less restricting if you were to use rhyme scheme abcb like I do, rather than
Abab
3: the ending was not super duper satisfying, I'd love some more to go with it
4: that's all, approved ✅

[dense lava]

oh im just too used to using abab i guess, abab and abba are my fav rhyme schemes

i dont want the ending to be satisfying, cause the world is not satisfying, we have to make it satisfying to ourselves

[icy isle]

The way I think of poems is give a semi clear beginning, an unclear middle and a very clear end, let the reader fill in the blanks with whatever resonates with them