#Love Love, Hate Love

65 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

coral owl
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@restive matrix @radiant smelt @sacred sage @cunning blaze

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@latent pilot @wide sail @heady onyx@ancient lion

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@smoky echo @rough valve @flat summit@outer chasm

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TW: extreme garbage, viewer discretion is advised, this is also a first draft

smoky echo
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First off, I feel like the beginning two stanzas could be worked on, I just feel like they could flow more smoothly or have a different wording.
However the rest is just…it’s so sad and hopeful I love it as always shocked

wide sail
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Umm this one is different , the longing for a connection and then complexities of love explained well . I liked it from the 7th stanza . Although the 5th stanza is really good especially these lines
"It deprives me of the longed love,
as well as the dark side of goodbyes" .
And the part of taking a risk in love " In a love-hate relationship, with and emotion I avoid.
if I do shoot for the stars, Will I remain devoid."
Not like your other poems but still it's so good . (⁠^⁠^⁠)

rough valve
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wow very sad and wonderful at the same time, like the poem really captures how love can stop you from living your life in a regular way, and it could change you really drastically ! the stanzas are well written , I like the second and third stanza and the last stanza the most, overall good poem and great job writing

coral owl
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@meager summit

coral owl
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@dense comet

dense comet
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I liked all the stanzas and a poem that starts happily, includes doubts in the middle and ends with sadness? I didn't really understand this but I loved the style and manner of writing, great vocabulary on your part, everything in this poem pleases me especially the seventh stanza

sacred sage
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plastic oak and leaves, this phrase This

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artificial leaves safe and sound

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everything over here fits in places except the second last stanza honestly

latent pilot
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Love the starting two stanzas when you described how the day starts with loneliness and no direction. Personally, my favourite is 7th and 11th stanzas.. the writing style is good, vocab is good and I like how smoothly it proceeds. A great work overall!

sacred sage
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like i get the second last stanza meaning but iy doesnt fit here, maybe try merging the second last and the third last stanza?

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[In a love-hate relationship
with an emotion I depart.
If I do shoot for the stars,
will I still remain far apart?]

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or maybe do something else if this sounds garber than garb

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but like try merging the second last and third last stanza

coral owl
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@sacred sage

cunning blaze
coral owl
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woo ash, my favourite

restive matrix
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This is amazing.(how many times have I said this to your poems now.. idk). Love the way the whole poem has thus sad vibe but with hope littered around(does it make sense?). But yeah great imagery love the repetitions u did. The 9th stanza is so beautiful like it just resonates with me. It has so many good lines can't choose a fav tbh.. but the bes imo is "Spring tucks winter away again" like wow.

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Overall a beautiful beautiful poem. (Something different from u)

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And uk I am always here to warm ur bed 😉 /hj

sacred sage
coral owl
coral owl
cunning blaze
sacred sage
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oh u swapped their positions

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hmmmmm

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hmmmm

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"If i do shoot for that star"

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can u make this the sentence

coral owl
sacred sage
restive matrix
coral owl
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n@velvet sleet

meager summit
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@tidal forum

coral owl
tidal forum
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Cool man

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That one hella of a poem

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I love it

coral owl
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oi @meager summit

tidal forum
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I will put it in my fav easy

coral owl
tidal forum
coral owl
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oh

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thanks

tidal forum
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It's just perfect

tidal forum
meager summit
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i liked these two lines-

coral owl
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me too

meager summit
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"a dormat teaspoon of hope still remains deep in my soul"

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and

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"to place my heart in another's, to hold theirs gently in my own."

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man they're perfect

coral owl
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thanks

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i think you guys will like the one im working on as well

meager summit
meager summit
flat summit
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I really love this and I think the 3, 4 , and 8 stanza are powerful