Addiction

[alpine night]

Lemme save this masterpiece for a reading when I'm in a more..... peaceful ambience

[primal pecan]

Imma save this

I want to try analysing meter again

[plucky bay]

Is the last stanza about a relapse?

I see
👌🏻real good poem, i like that the message is clear, the rhyme scheme is crisp and it's in a great sense of flow

[agile crystal]

There is a lot of potential I think in this piece. I liked the second stanza but I feel like you tried to fit into a rhyme scheme and lost the meaning during the process. If I were to play with this I'd do smth like

With each new roll burning up and down my throat
Churning bells stop yet grey coats my memories
Slowly losing sense which is what I needed

so like instead of saying a word like "inhale" I try to ignite the idea of inhaling thru "down my throat" and Im trying to add more imagery as the poem progresses. Hope its helpfull

[deep oak]

You’re welcome

[rare lava]

I'm picking up what you're putting down.

[alpine night]

Please do, my ambience doesn't seem to be turning peaceful whatsoever, this is a whole war field I'm stuck in

[agile crystal]

well make it churning clocks I was just giving an example of how to invoke an idea without saying it

[primal pecan]

Why this poem was deleted?

@fading plaza

[fading plaza]

I was banned for a few hours

Ill repost em after work today

[primal pecan]

Okay