#Metamorphosis -Rider

99 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

rotund moon
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@thorny valley @drowsy bane @surreal lark @tender carbon

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@scarlet badger @clear kelp @lofty cypress @raven ridge

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@clever portal ok not gonna ping the entire server

tender carbon
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So, first of all, I really loved this poem. One of the few I've read (from you) that ends in a happier way. I really liked how you described depression as confinement and being trapped. The figurative language used is so beautiful. The imagery is so vivid and picturesque. Your vocab is something I love, it never fails to amaze me. The rhythm and rhymes are smooth. The last stanza has a lot of weight on it, which I really like. The lines you used hit hard like damn. Getting better by the day, rider. I really really really loved this. And I really loved how u described achieving happiness as experiencing metamorphosis finally. A 9.5/10 from mehh!!

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I see you've used ABCB throughout the poem

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Pretty

raven ridge
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This is beautiful I love it

rotund moon
tender carbon
thorny valley
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immaculate

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3rd is my fav

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i literally got no critquing here since its perfect

drowsy bane
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Amazing as always and the rhyming scheme of ABCB is perfect . This poem beautifully captures the journey of transformation from feeling suffocated and trapped to eventually embracing the change and having another hope . The progression from darkness to light and from despair to hope is ponderable . I really loved the last stanza and the use of Metamorphosis to a butterfly .

scarlet badger
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I like how you use metamorphosis with life and butterfly to compare how lfie changes so quickly and fast nice metaphor there ! and the stanzas are so well written too !

surreal lark
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This is an amazing poem the best if we are talking about it as a piece of literature. Because that is what this is. Art. Lovely metaphors which are perfect for the premise and lead to vivid imagery. The structure Idk if u meant it to be that way but is only irregular in the last para which is in which the person at last breaks free from his mental cage as u say. Lovely portrayal of people going through depression (and for a change in ur poems) how they at last got over it. The ending as always is the best hits u like truck. My fav para though has to be the 7th one it just encapsulates the thought of dying during depression in such a beautiful way.

rotund moon
surreal lark
rotund moon
surreal lark
rotund moon
surreal lark
rotund moon
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bonk

surreal lark
rotund moon
surreal lark
surreal lark
remote bramble
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Ayee I love this one more cause it's a happi happi ending and I'm ashamed to say but I was crying. Everything is so relatable and hits so hard. You're good at this! pandaoooo

clever portal
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this ones perfect

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feeling of trapped and hopelessness trying to find escape

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the imagery is exceptionally agood

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also the pregession through despair and eventual emergence into freedom is very well

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metaphores good too

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well written

rotund moon
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@cursive pebble

weak bison
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So i misread reaper as reader and was like dang, is my guy asking me to end him?

Then read it again and saw it's reaper lol

But it did read pretty interesting as "reader"

From my experienxe with others, sometimes they will ask you to end their misery for them because they can't dk it themselves.

A mercy murder so to speak.

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Liked that it moved in a different direction by the end, though i dont know how much of that was what you were feeling or what you thought woukd work well for this poem

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Also, the prayer bit, who's ears are you talking about?

rotund moon
rotund moon
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@unreal cosmos

rotund moon
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@remote bramble

clever portal
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Original poster left the server a while ago

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And vefore leaving he deleted all his poems

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No idea, all he said was I'm leaving the server

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Yes

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I tried

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But dms closed

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He was my buddy-

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Unfriended everyone from the server

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Yea

drowsy bane
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If you want to read his poems you can ask @surreal lark

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A woman
What ?

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Idk who you are talking about.
Rider is a he/him user

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Ehh-
Common thing 🙂

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I believe that too
And I have my rights 👍

drowsy bane
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Lol he left the server not me

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No

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Bye bye
Have a nice day

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Ehh-
Issokay 👍

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We are close friends

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You could say that

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Yk what , I'm not single, I'm taken , and married .
Okay
note this too ಠ⁠◡⁠ಠ

zealous sierraBOT
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Wonderful! @remote bramble has just pregressed to level 2!

drowsy bane
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Kindly you don't need to know .

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Bro why are you so persistent (⁠T⁠T⁠)

surreal lark
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I thought u could text him too

drowsy bane
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But you already have his poems so I thought it's better you handle all this

surreal lark
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I mean I do talk to him.... but haven't in a while

drowsy bane
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Go find someone else

surreal lark
drowsy bane
surreal lark
drowsy bane
surreal lark
gray lanternBOT
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*Yeah... it's just I can't

stop worrying ... ik I

should though. Yeah ik*

- Hydrae
drowsy bane
surreal lark
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Lol I already have a gf... so stay away pls

drowsy bane
surreal lark
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Idk dude

drowsy bane
surreal lark
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I don't wanna disclose 👀

drowsy bane
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Yop he did 🙂

surreal lark
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Bro why u hating on him he's one the most amazing people in this world

surreal lark
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That sounds like a u problem

zealous sierraBOT
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Wonderful! @remote bramble has just pregressed to level 3!

drowsy bane
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You are making me hate you already (⁠눈⁠‸⁠눈⁠)

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Bro you don't have school ?

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What question ?

surreal lark
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My guy let's not clutter this place move it to off-topic